In order to enjoy “Lost” to it’s fullest, I have been watching it from episode 1, season 1. It’s obnoxious but it’s addictive and I can’t help myself. Especially not now that I’ve invested so much time already. So, I figured I’d at least pretend to exercise my brain by making these observations. I’m only mid-season three, so be on the lookout for more to come by the time I get caught up!

What I’ve learned about humanity while watching episode after episode of Lost…

• Never fall in love, be in a relationship, or be intimate with someone. One of you will die.
• If someone is staring off into the distance, give them 3-5 minutes, they’re having a flashback.
• Pay attention to everyone you meet in life because you will probably meet them again on a deserted island
• When you die, you have the option of coming back to tell people important information rather than just chilling in heaven
• You can still have great makeout scenes when you have absolutely rancid breath
• If it’s raining, something bad is about to go down…
• Even pale people can avoid the sun on a deserted island for months
• If someone disappears for a long period of time, don’t give them a gun within 24 hours of them returning
• Everything that happens to you in your life will only make sense when you’re stuck on an island with absolute strangers
• No matter where you are, a love triangle will always creep up somewhere
• Following dead or imaginary people through a dangerous forest is a form of intellectual Darwinism
• Just because you have lines, or an interesting backstory does not mean you will survive
• Don’t worry about the extra people who live on the island, they’ll change daily
• It never hurts to speak a little Korean
• After a few minutes of balance and happiness, you better believe some bad shizz is about to go down
• Before making a huge decision, be sure to pause and think about it long enough for a commercial break
• Ladies, don’t worry a thing about looking bad on an island. Your hair will not lose any of its luster, shine or style.
• If you are a minority, you have every right to be nervous about surviving
• Everyone, at some point in their past, has killed someone or been directly responsible for someone’s death. If this doesn’t yet apply to you, it soon will.
• If we’re not careful, all the pollution on earth will confine into one giant, angry smoke monster that feeds off our fear
• I’m fairly certain that the last episode of Lost will be an hour of “Previously on Lost…”
• Everyone has daddy issues