Phrase ‘wise latina’ officially overused, upsetting many elderly, worldly hispanic women

We get it,” says Maria, a 79-year-old Guatemalan woman living on the North Side of town. “She said something stupid. Now would you all just let that punchline go so that those of us who are wise and latina can get on with our lives? Gracias.” Agitated that her grandchildren have begun mocking her for her knowledge and claiming she is a racist who only speaks from her world view and not in the best interest of the grandchildren, Maria is facing trial herself.

In an unprecedented show of solidarity and strength, her eleven grandchildren have decided to probe their grandma for more details about her decision-making process during a hearing that took place in Maria’s kitchen this past week. The grandchildren asked questions about her past decisions and posed possible future scenarios in order to try and gage what Maria might say or do when the pressure was on.

Her youngest grandchild, five-year-old Javier, simply stated, “Being my grandma is a lifetime appointment, and I’m not yet sure if she’s ready for the task. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but there are just some elements of her background that still concern me. I’m yet undecided how I’ll vote with the other grandkids when it is put in front of us.”

As Javier finishes up his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and heads off to the playground, Maria rolls her eyes. “I wanted to remind him to button his pants so they don’t fall off again and embarrass him in front of the other children, but last time I gave him ‘advice’ he said ‘Hey wise latina, why don’t you just let me make my own decisions instead of forcing your world-view on me?’ I didn’t even wipe the jelly off his face. It’s been so hard on me as a grandma through this process. I just hope I get the appointment, we get this mess out of our way, and we can return to being a normal family.”

Wise words, from a worldly, elderly woman of hispanic decent.


2 thoughts on “Phrase ‘wise latina’ officially overused, upsetting many elderly, worldly hispanic women

  1. Haha, as if they werent 95% softball questions in the “hearings.” Go ahead Democrats, go ahead and ram her through, you have the votes. Wonder what the reason that they’re not is… Hmm…

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