Fans astonished to find out Beyonce’s “Big Ego” and Britney Spears’ “If U Seek Amy” are actually innuendoes

It’s yet another quiet afternoon in the car with the Wilson family. The radio has been turned off since Tina Wilson, mother of Tonya age 13 and Trish age 11, realized that two popular songs her girls love were actually innuendoes.

Wilson loved Beyonce’s new hit Big Ego and Britney Spears single If U Seek Amy, until she thought twice about the songs. “There I was, singing along with the girls in the car, when I realized that these artists may not be speaking literally…they could be talking about something inappropriate.” Not willing to believe these artists would ever send such distasteful signals to young women, she searched Google for the answers. “I had to go to the only place I could trust. The only place I was sure wouldn’t be filled with lies. I checked the internet for my answers.”

A simple search rendered heart-wrenching results. As she had suspected, the songs were not speaking about a man’s self-confidence nor attempting to find a girl named Amy. With her trust and faith in modern music shattered, Wilson has decided to go on strike from all music until there are no more songs with any innuendo at all. This includes classical hits like Beethoven’s controversial 9th Symphony and the National Anthem. “Any form of somewhat organized noise could be sending me and my daughters inappropriate signals,” Wilson said. “I’d rather listen to the birds chirping…as long as its not a mating call.”

The Wilsons will continue to wait until the day there is absolutely no sexuality left in music. Ms. Wilson has faith that it could only take about a year or so. Until then, they listen to the sound of their car engine purring…but take care to not rev up it up too much.

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