New Mexico man convinced of alien paparazzi

Harold Pinkner, a 56-year-old New Mexico resident, has had a relatively uneventful existence. At least in this universe. According to Pinkner, he is a celebrated famous figure in the galaxy of Millwahkeesbst, a yet undiscovered and unconfirmed distant place.

What separates Pinkner from the rest of his friends and neighbors who also claim to encountered creatures from different galaxies is his insistence of the evidence. Says Pinkner, “I’ve done see them takin’ pictures of me. They do it when my defenses are down and it’s raining. I’ll step on outside to check out the rain and boom! There’s a flash of light and the sound of a buncha spaceships rollin’ away real quick.”

Pinkner said he has noticed the flashes at a very early age. He always attributed it to the weather, claiming that when it rained, a strange phenomenon occurred with flashes of light in the sky. After several decades and a lifetime of loneliness and taking refuge in cheap beers, he began to realize the truth. He must be a celebrity on another galaxy.

When asked how he discovered the galaxy’s name, he answered simply, “It just kinda came to me one night as I was starin’ at some of the beers I’d been drinkin’. I knew. I’m sure it’s because they whispered it to me in some way I couldn’t understand.”

As for why the creatures in the far off galaxy would be so fascinated with him, he said, “I’m a fascinatin’ guy. You don’t know me! Don’t act like you know me!”

Pinkner continues to allow the aliens to snap his picture when there’s an onslaught of rain. He has even begun posing for them and acting surprised when they take the pictures, even though he hears their space ship clamor away shortly after each flash.

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