Turkmenistan considering moving continents

Turkmenistan, a quaint nation tucked in most eastern section of the middle east, is currently debating moving to a different continent for various logistical reasons. The Turmenistani government has appointed a task force to study the possibility of relocating their nation, history, and people to a new location.

The move does not come as an easy decision. There are several factors involved that the task force must take under consideration. Their reasoning, however, is quite compelling to both the government and the people of Turkmenistan.

The first reason they want to move is because of their unsavory location. Their country currently borders both Iran and Afghanistan, with the less than stellar Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan on the other side. Not only are tensions with the United States high with both Iran and Afghanistan, but the location inevitably leads to awkward block parties and uncomfortable “neighborhood patrols”.

In addition, Turkmenistan feels they’re overshadowed by Turkey, a more well-known middle eastern nation that is often considered part of Europe because of its relative proximity. Turkmenistanis feel that if they were to move themselves to Europe, one of the continents in consideration, they could steal much of Turkey’s notoriety, making people think Turkey had copied off Turkmenistan rather than the other way around.

Another compelling reason Turkmenistan wants to move locations is because of the high number of countries ending in “stan” in their area of the world. Between Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan, Turkmenistan feels completely anonymous, like a college student wearing a generic black North Face jacket during the fall.

By moving continents, they could have a new tourist slogan-something along the lines of “The only ‘stan in Africa”, which would really help them to ‘stan…d out.

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