Man shocked that woman has no desire to make out with him

Rodney Dearborn is an average man. He’s average height, average weight, average attractiveness. Like most average men, his ego is greater than the sum of its parts. Imagine, then, Dearborn’s surprise when last Friday, a random woman he met and began talking to on the train, refused to kiss him when he made a move mid-conversation.

“Clearly because she was politely responding to my questions and faintly smiling, she wanted me. I don’t get why I got rejected,” he claims. The two had apparently been making casual conversation, which in Dearborn’s mind was the equivalent of intense flirting from a desperate woman at a dive bar at 2 am on a Friday night.

Midway through the discussion about the colder-than-average temperatures, Dearborn leaned in with his lips puckered and his eyes closed. The woman squealed, jumped up and got off at the next train stop. “It’s her own fault!” Dearborn asserts. “She was giving me all the signals.”

“I’m a man. She’s a woman. We were talking. She made eye contact once in a while. Clearly, she wanted me,” he reiterated. Many men have been in Dearborn’s position before and unsure why they were rejected by these women.

The Institute for Male Ego Studies, IMES, has been researching the issue for several years. Brad Hunter, their spokesman, stated, “Scientifically speaking, there’s no reason any given woman shouldn’t be not only attracted to but smitten by an average man. Unless, of course, she’s a lesbian.The phenomena of women rejecting men who make a move has been boggling us for centuries.”

Hunter, who is quite familiar with cases like Dearborn’s, has attributed these rejections to the increase in the number of lesbians who retain much of their femininity, rather than wearing the obvious uniform of plaid, khakis, Birkenstock sandals and short hair. After years of research, that is the only feasible conclusion IMES can come up with. “Nothing else makes sense,” says Hunter. “There is absolutely no other possibly solution.”

Dearborn added, “If a woman doesn’t want to have intimate relations with a man, she shouldn’t lead him on by doing obvious things like eye contact, responding to simple questions, or being friendly. It gives the wrong impression.”

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One thought on “Man shocked that woman has no desire to make out with him

  1. hahahahahahahaha wooooooooow that reminds me of the fact that men and women should trade a bit of ego — in high school anyways the guys think they’re God’s gift and the girls (even if they are gorgeous) often don’t even see themselves as pretty…. why?!?

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