Several hipsters, sporting uneven, funky hairstyles and chain smoking organic cigarettes, were found complaining about the lack of style from the people who surrounded them in downtown Chicago on Friday morning.
The hipsters, who do not often leave their normal, alternative surroundings, were in need of a serious commoner bash-session, and desperately walked into a chain clothing store. The group immediately regretted their decision.
“These clothes look like oppression,” commented one of the lead hipsters. He added, “I can’t believe I thought about paying money to the man who will inevitably keep the status quo in check and make my life more miserable than it already is.”
To make matters worse, the hipsters claim that the treatment of the workers towards them was below average. As another hipster explains, “It’s because we’re different and unique and not scared to be ourselves. We know we each look completely different, even if you can’t see the difference when you’re looking at our whole group. We’re totally individual in our own non-conformist conforming way.”
This particular group of hipsters is well known for frequenting a local hipster shop that charges exorbitant amounts of strange-looking clothing. They are adamant that the clothing is the best in the city because of it’s home-grown materials. Much like their approach to modern art, they blame other patron’s lack of sophistication about clothing for not enjoying the peculiar style of the local store.
The hipsters will likely be frequenting a few more chain clothing stores to complain before retiring to their normal hang outs to recharge their haughty arrogance amongst like-minded folks.