After several days of miserable, rainy weather, Anna Chavez needed to make a change. She became tired of being a victim of the outside conditions. She often found herself simply scurrying to and from different shelters, pathetically holding a free newspaper over her head, or pretending to be completely undeterred by the rain.

As it turned out, none of these options were at all effective in keeping the rain from being a frustrating experience for Anna. That is, of course, until she got a stroke of genius. She decided to purchase an umbrella.

This simple device, which has existed for centuries across the globe, has made all the difference for Chavez in keeping the raindrops off the majority of her body.

“I’m delighted,” Chavez said in a recent interview. “I just wish I had thought about buying one sooner! I was so stubborn to hold out so long without one.” Now, she is able to keep the small device her purse wherever she goes, and is prepared in case the untrustworthy sky decides to open up again.

“I don’t have to worry about my hair looking like a wet mop and pretending not to care!” she adds.

The umbrella has been a helpful tool to humanity throughout the centuries, keeping a sense of control over the environment. Even if that control doesn’t extend beyond a very small radius. And as long as the rain is coming from one identifiable direction. And, even then, the wind could turn the umbrella inside out and render it useless.

Despite it, humanity continues to worship the umbrella and all its symbolism, as recently made famous by the popular song “Umbrella” by the singer Rhianna.

Anna Chavez smiles now at the prospect of rain, adding, “Now, I can help people out when it’s raining if they’re unprepared. I can finally allow them to stand under my umbrella. Ella. Ella. Eh. Eh. Eh.”