Texans claim gun as cure for road rage

In the clamor for finding a cure for cancer, aids, and a slew of other maladies that affect millions of people, the cure for road rage has been one often overlooked. Despite that, many people in Texas have claimed to have found the answer. Guns.

“You jest shoot at the fella who’s makin you angry and, bam, problem solved,” said Archie O’Hare, a local Texas gun-owner. O’Hare, like most people in Texas, has several guns on him at all times. He is a factory worker, not a scientist, but claims to have used the scientific method in approaching a cure for the common road rage.

Archie, and many others in Texas, identified the problem: People in cars who cut them off or drove erratically ticked them off. They took note of their situation and the factors involved: They all had guns that could either hurt or kill the people who were causing the problem. They then hypothesized that if they used the guns on said people, the behavior would stop. By getting rid of the people that cause the road rage within others, the road rage would disappear completely.

For Texas, is a logical, fail-proof theory. And they’ve begun putting it into practice.

“Jest last week a man was speedin next to me with a real smug look on his face,” O’Hare recalls. “I could tell he was gonna do somethin crazy, so I got out my gun and shot at him.”

The Texans who use this method of attacking the common road rage problem always claim self defense in a court the couple times people have sued them after a shooting incident. Texan judges, of course, side with the gun shooters. After most court cases, all the gun owners in the jury, the lawyers, the defendant, and the judge go outside and shoot their guns while hollering cheerfully. They are, on occasion, joined by Yosemite Sam.

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