Dolores May has always been big boned. She grew up with a particular affection for both pasta and sweets, which quickly resulted in a more curvaceous body than her peers.

For years, May struggled with what to wear to make herself feel like those around her. She loved the feeling of buying her clothes a little bigger so she could pretend they were older and that she had lost weight. She much preferred this feeling to wearing a pair of jeans that did not properly stretch around her full figure and showed off the non-delicious kind of rolls and muffin tops.

Last Saturday, however, May discovered that if she wore a pair of stretched out sweat pants, she felt like she was as skinny as Lindsay Lohan during her drug and partying days.

This feeling was extremely exciting and liberating for May, who has searched so long for that perfect article that will make her feel like a skinny girl.

Since the discovery, May has worn nothing but stretched out sweat pants. She wears them at home, at work, and-of course-at Wal Mart. She even saw people taking pictures of her and saying she’d be a star online. She knew it was because she looked so skinny and svelte in her favorite pants.

Though she has yet to take tangible steps towards achieving the goal, May has discussed starting up a plus-sized clothing line known for pre-stretched sweat pants. She has also thought about losing some weight.