Fox News, who’s news slogan is “fair and balanced”, has brought aboard with conservative icon Sarah Palin to be a new commentator for various programming. Palin agreed to do the shows in part because she believed so strongly in their slogan.

Palin quickly came to realize, however, that her interpretation of the words “fair” and “balanced” was completely different than the more general interpretation of them. An avid movie-watcher, Palin interpreted the word “fair” based on the musical-turned-movie “My Fair Lady.” She figured that meant that Fox News would give her a complete makeover-much like the McCain campaign only without the controversy- and would teach her to speak properly without her debilitating accent. She even hoped for a dance lesson or two, to more properly impress the well-to-do-men that surround her.

As for what “balanced” meant to the former governor of Alaska, she interpreted it to mean what most would consider symmetrical. “I, like Denzel Washington, have a very balanced face, which makes it pleasing to the eye,” she explains. “That’s why I’ll make a great addition to this team.”

When attempting to explain the differences in interpretations to Palin, she simply started laughing and said, “You like you could use a brownie,” and began cooking and humming away to herself.