After spending hours tormented over celebrity’s life, gossiper finally realizes it doesn’t matter

Lisa Hausing is a concerned citizen. No, she hasn’t yet registered to vote. Nor is she involved in any community organizations. Her concerns rest solely in Hollywood, CA, where she religiously follows celebrity gossip.

That is, she religiously followed celebrity gossip. The verb must be in the past tense because just yesterday, Hausing had a revelation. After spending a full 24 hours away from all technological outlets due to a surprise outdoors trip planned by her husband, Jared Hausing, Lisa had a revelation. The world continued without her and her favorite celebrities did not mention that they’d noticed she was gone. They had, in fact, never even mentioned that they noticed her.

She realized that the world of these people that she saw on entertainment outlets throughout the country, whom had invested so much time and energy into emulating and formulating opinions about, had absolutely no effect on any aspect of her life.

Hausing claims it was a total revelation. She says her first reaction that these figures had no influence on her life wasn’t depressing, but rather much more liberating. “I’m free to start caring about my friends, and talking to the people I interact with daily about their concerns and their families,” she says. “I had never even noticed half these people before.”

Though the past several hours have been difficult for Hausing, who has decided to go cold turkey from all celebrity gossip outlets, she admits that they’ve been extremely enjoyable as well.

“Look at me!” She says, smiling and shooting a peace sign at her friends. “I’m so Miley!” She then gets a distant look in her eyes and begins to tear up.

Hausing knows the journey from caring about celebrities to caring about her friends and family will be a difficult one, but she’s swears she’s in it for the long haul.

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