Aite, so listen. I joined Foursquare a few years ago when it was hip.* I barely used it then. I barely use it now. But I started checking into the gym regularly because I found the little quips the app would put up funny.

A few weeks in, it started telling me that I was going a certain number of weeks in a row. It even started doing this green power-up bar thing! I got really excited!

As the weeks went on, I decided to make it my goal to get to a full year of gym check ins. I thought surely after a year the app designers like personally call and congratulate you. Or at least have an extra funny little quip. Or say “Congrats on one year!” or SOMETHING!

I basically only checked into Foursquare at the gym. Sometimes at a comedy joint for the night just for variety. But usually just the gym.

One of my friends even said “You’re always at the gym! I see you there on Foursquare all the time!” I told her it’s the only place I really check in on Foursquare so… it’s not the most accurate description of how I spend my time.

Anyway, this week I hit that 52 week goal. I was so excited when I finally got to make that check in. I’d been carefully counting the weeks leading up to this big day. It was going to be huge. I was ready for what delightful surprise Foursquare surely had in store.

And this is what I saw:

That’s it. Just like all the other weeks. It didn’t look any different. No recognition of the fact that it had been a full year. No… nuthin’

I’ll be honest… despite drinking my Go Go Juice that morning… I felt a little down the rest of the workout. There had been so much build up for weeks- WEEKS! I really got my hopes up.

So instead of this week being my big Foursquare excitement week… it was the week I decided to stop using that app for good.

I’m not mad at it. This is not a bad breakup. I just wanted it to be something it’s not. I stuck it out and did my part. But it just… wasn’t the app I thought it was.

I’ve been through this song and dance of broken dreams and things I’m invested in not living up to their potential enough times this year. I’m over it. We’re done Foursquare. Best of luck in your future check in relationships. I hope they want what you have to offer. Because I’ve already moved on. And this new app is, like, waaaaaaaay more fun than you ever were.

*I’m willing to admit it was never hip. But if it ever stood a chance to be hip…it was when I joined it