Dear Sweaty Gym Clothes Wear-er,
I get it. You’re tired after your workout. Your sweaty and you want to relax for a little bit in the sauna. Who doesn’t? It’s completely understandable.
But please… do me, yourself, and everyone else who wants to spend some relaxing and healing time in the sauna a favor. And take off your goddamn sweaty gym clothes.
If you don’t have a towel and are not comfortable being naked in the sauna, I’ll give you a break. You can leave on your undergarments. I won’t like it, but I’ll tolerate it.
But for the love of God, take off your sweaty gym shoes.
Here’s the thing. The sauna, in case you haven’t noticed because you were staring at your iPhone the entire time, is a small enclosed box. It’s very hot. And that dry heat gets circulated into the opened pores of everyone who’s also sitting in this enclosed box. So when you sit in this box with all your dirty clothes and grimey shoes, that gunk goes into the air and gets into your pores, my pores, and the pores of the nice old Korean lady sitting between us. And it’s doing none of us a favor. In fact, it’s negating the good that could be coming of this sauna experience. So take three minutes and strip your ass down before you join me and my sweet old Korean lady sitting quietly.
And for the love of all that is holy- don’t bring in your phone. Just… don’t. Phones give off energy (that’s why the screen is bright while you text emoji’s to your BFF) and use energy. And it changes the energy in small enclosed spaces when you bring it in. Sauna is for detoxing. Phone is for retoxing. They don’t work together.
So look up and make eye contact the sweet old Korean lady next to you. She won’t mind. She’s at least 60 lbs overweight and naked. You think she cares what you think? Or stare at the wall for ten minutes and breathe without having to think or talk or do anything. Just enjoy the dry heat. And relax. Or talk to yourself. Or take a quick nap. I don’t care.
All I care about is that you stop ruining the sauna with your gross, sweaty gym shoes and clothes.