There’s a popular app I use called “My Fitness Pal.” You input your current weight, your goal weight, your approximate energy level for your job and it calculates the amount of calories you should eat in order to get to that goal weight.

You can also input your exercises so it can account for that in your calorie goals. Then, throughout your day, you input the foods you’re eating to keep track of it. You can even scan barcodes and it uses a massive system of other people who use the app to help you with your nutritional needs.

It’s a great app.

But it’s a jerk.

I’m not great at keeping up with it. It tells me a very low number of calories I’m allowed any given day. Lately, I’ve been focusing on lifting more. So the actual calories burned during my exercise aren’t easy to calculate. But when I do enter my lifting into the app, it doesn’t calculate them at all. Sure, it could just more effective maybe to still go with the smaller number and just pretend like I didn’t exercise. But when I really go hard at the gym, I know my body is craving more calories for muscle building than My Fitness Pal wants me to intake. So I have to guesstimate the difference.

And guess what happens? I always over-estimate. I assume I can eat more than it wants me to eat. So then I just give up tracking the calories because I assume the number is all off anyway. Then I get frustrated if I’m not losing weight, know I should probably use something like My Fitness Buddy to help me keep tabs on my calorie intake. So the whole cycle starts up again.

I dunno what to do about it. So I blame that jerk, My Fitness Pal. It’s definitely the app’s fault.

I think I need a real fitness pal, rather than an app. But that would require talking to a real-life human, and we all know that’s too scary.

So I’ll stick with my computers and my virtual reality. In my SIMS world, I weight 118 lbs of pure, healthy muscle. Hooray for computer programming!