Vacay

IIMG_6291 am good at going. I am good at doing. I am good at moving.

I am not very good at stopping.

But I recently was fortunate enough to get to stop for a while.

Through a series of fortunate circumstances, I snagged a four night vacation in Hawaii.

Lucky. I know. Believe me… I know.

I was of course looking forward to some time in paradise. But I wasn’t sure what I was really going to do with myself. I wasn’t going on my own so it’s not like I could do what I normally do when left alone and create a series of make-believe characters that converse with each other. I couldn’t even really take too much time to write or work on any of the pending projects I’ve got coming up because I wanted to actually enjoy the beauty around me.

So I had to stop. For a period of time.

I had to not make plans. Not contact people. Stay off my phone as much as possible. And just enjoy the scenery around me.

And I’ll be honest, it was extremely refreshing. I read two books. Two! I never take the time to even finish one because I only have a few minutes here and there in my day. But I had time to read two!

I went for hikes. I woke up energized with the sun and watched it rise over the ocean from my incredible balcony view. I saw rainbows and went swimming in the refreshing water. I took deep breaths and enjoyed myself in the moment.

And I came back totally ready to work again. But this time, with a new revitalized perspective. I’ve relaxed because the relaxation of the vacation and the island seeped into my core.

I love traveling. I haven’t traveled (for pleasure) much lately. And this was a good reminder that taking a few days off make a huge different in my happiness and productivity levels. So even though I’m not always good at stopping and it can take me a bit to build back up the momentum I had before stopping… I think once in a while it’s worth it.

Sarah Palin joins Fox News cast; her new makeup artist quips she’s now “Going Rouge”.

Despite always wearing heavy makeup along the campaign trail to appear fresh and chipper, Sarah Palin faces a new challenge in a world seemingly filled of them for her. She will be a regular commentator on Fox News. This time around, the challenge will be adjusting to having TV makeup put on her before she gets on camera every single time.

Few people are accustomed to the layers of TV makeup that are required in order to look natural on camera. Palin’s new makeup artist, who has been specifically assigned to her every time she goes on air for consistency purposes, joked that Palin is now “Going Rouge” because of the high amount of foundation she’ll be putting on her skin. When making the joke to the former governor, Palin looked at the artist stone faced and said, simply, “It’s Rogue. Going Rogue.” The artist, wanting to make a connection with her new client, joked back, “Oh right-like the X-men!” Palin, remaining stone faced, repeated, “No, like rogue. Like a maverick.” In one final feeble attempt, the artist responded with, “Top Gun style?”. There was a moment of silence between the two woman, which was finally broken by Palin saying, stone faced, “It’s Rogue.”

Despite the pitfalls, the makeup artist still hopes Palin will understand the joke one day and the two can be friends. “At least she didn’t call me the “L” word,” she said. “That liberal title can mean unemployment around here.”

With Vampire popularity soaring, pale girl finally feels accepted by society

Katrina Vollado has struggled with her own self-image for years. As a person without normal pigmentation, or PWONP, she often finds it difficult to feel beautiful in a culture that worships the sun and its effects on human skin.

As a PWONP, which is more commonly referred to as a “pale” person, she does not have the ability to tan like many people do. Instead, she burns to a crisp when she’s in the sun too long.

Her skin pigmentation, or lack thereof, has been a struggle for her throughout the years. That is, until, vampires made a resurgence into popular culture. Movies like the Twilight saga and “The Vampire Diaries,” Vollado has found herself suddenly proud of her porcelain skin.

Vampires, by nature, cannot be in contact with the sunlight, and therefore remain very pale. Paler than most other pop culture icons.

“I finally look like the movie stars!” she exclaims, proudly. “I’m hoping after the latest Twilight movie comes out, werewolves will become popular again and maybe I won’t have to shave my legs all winter!”

While she realizes this may be wishful thinking, it seems like a perfectly attainable goal for Vollado. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that her pale skin seemed to doom her. Now, she shows it off proudly. Occasionally wearing fangs to add to her allure.

Miley Cyrus projected to be considered attractive by 2060

According to a recent study conducted by the Institute for Identifying Attractive People (IIAP) located in Washington, DC, Miley Cyrus will likely become traditionally attractive around the year 2060.

The IIAP has been fascinated for years by Cyrus’ status as an attractive person without having any of the traditional attractive qualities. According to the Institute, she is not traditionally “unattractive” but is considered more “completely neutral-looking” and borderline “uneasy to stare at for long period of time.” What fascinates them, however, is Miley’s status as a “good-looking” person according to millions of other people. They hypothesize that her “attractiveness” to others is likely hugely linked to her huge fame and wealthy bankroll.

These excuses for her attractiveness, however, will likely change around the year 2060. The IIAP projects that by this decade, aliens will have begun to permeate society and procreate with humanity, creating a generation of youth that have giant eyes and funky features. Society’s standards of beauty will slowly change as these so-called “freaks” begin becoming more “normal”. And that’s when Miley Cyrus will begin to fit in and be considered more traditionally “attractive.”

The IIAP admits that beauty standards are constantly transforming along with culture and society. There are some elements, however, that remain the same throughout time. Their prediction of aliens procreating with humans is the only way-they can see- that Cyrus’ look will every be considered “standard beauty.”