My Fitness Pal is a jerk

fitness palThere’s a popular app I use called “My Fitness Pal.” You input your current weight, your goal weight, your approximate energy level for your job and it calculates the amount of calories you should eat in order to get to that goal weight.

You can also input your exercises so it can account for that in your calorie goals. Then, throughout your day, you input the foods you’re eating to keep track of it. You can even scan barcodes and it uses a massive system of other people who use the app to help you with your nutritional needs.

It’s a great app.

But it’s a jerk.

I’m not great at keeping up with it. It tells me a very low number of calories I’m allowed any given day. Lately, I’ve been focusing on lifting more. So the actual calories burned during my exercise aren’t easy to calculate. But when I do enter my lifting into the app, it doesn’t calculate them at all. Sure, it could just more effective maybe to still go with the smaller number and just pretend like I didn’t exercise. But when I really go hard at the gym, I know my body is craving more calories for muscle building than My Fitness Pal wants me to intake. So I have to guesstimate the difference.

And guess what happens? I always over-estimate. I assume I can eat more than it wants me to eat. So then I just give up tracking the calories because I assume the number is all off anyway. Then I get frustrated if I’m not losing weight, know I should probably use something like My Fitness Buddy to help me keep tabs on my calorie intake. So the whole cycle starts up again.

I dunno what to do about it. So I blame that jerk, My Fitness Pal. It’s definitely the app’s fault.

I think I need a real fitness pal, rather than an app. But that would require talking to a real-life human, and we all know that’s too scary.

So I’ll stick with my computers and my virtual reality. In my SIMS world, I weight 118 lbs of pure, healthy muscle. Hooray for computer programming!

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Yummy in my Tummy

I’ve been a little busy. I like to stay busy, as many of you know. But the past couple weeks have been exceptionally busy. The little free time I typically get to get myself in order is being spent coordinating and producing (and filming!) my upcoming web series The Other Client List (which, by the way, is super fun and going to be really really funny so you should totally check it out…)

Now, more than every, it’s extremely important I watch what nutrition I put in my body. Mostly because, I don’t have all the time I usually have to workout. I shoot for about 5 days per week at the gym…but lately I’m lucky if I can squeeze in 3.

I’m ok with it. I’m trying to give myself a break. I know that it’s only temporary while I focus really hard on my series. I know sometimes these things come up and there’s only so many hours in the day. I also know and respect the value of sleep- so I’m not willing to give it up too much. So on the weekends where I only sleep about 6 hours in 2 days… I’m going to sleep in the next day and let myself rest. Which will probably mean I’m not going to the gym. And that’s ok.

We focus a lot on going to the gym as the main way to get and stay healthy. And while it’s a huge part of the equation, nutrition is just as (and maybe even more) important. I’ve worked out for years, but I don’t see big results in my body unless I’m also careful about my nutrition.

And because I’ve been really careful about it the past few weeks, I’m starting to see some results. So I want to keep seeing more results. But I have to do it (right now) without the added benefit of an hour or more at the gym every day because I simply don’t have the time. So I’ve been focusing even more on my nutrition. I’ve been watching calories and controlling portions. Because I want to continue to see results. And because I know that I can only do so much.

So I’ll keep watching what I eat when I can. And knowing that sometimes you just have to chill out and recognize that you can’t do it all.

And now here’s a shot of me stuffing my face with Cookie Crisps for a scene. This shot alone was probably more calories than I have for breakfast and lunch on a good nutrition day. And I could feel the sugar in my esophagus for the next six hours.

Bianca cereal

Totally worth it.

Jokes from the Week of November 10, 2011

Kim Kardashian is working with Tyler Perry on his latest film “The Marriage Counselor,” just a few weeks after her divorce from her husband of 72 days Kris Humphries. Though many think the reality star will not transition easily into traditional acting, most sources close Kim confirm the has an excellent ability to act like she’s in love. So as long as her role involves courtship for attention, she’ll nail it.

The United States military is supposedly in talks with Kim Kardashian as a possible consultant on how to get out of serious commitments in record time.

Presidential contender and current Texas Governer Rick Perry had an embarassing public brain freeze during the Republican debate on Wednesday. Most onlookers weren’t upset by the gaff. In fact, the majority of the public was shocked to learn any of the candidates had brains in the first place.

I don’t like zombies and I don’t like politicians. But if I were a zombie, I would really hate politicians because they would literally provide no value for me.

Fitness Boot Camps have become really popular, now that the don’t ask don’t tell policy has been revoked. You can now stare angrily and jealously at your same-sex fitness buddy without any worry of getting kicked out of the class.

A revolutionary cancer drug is shown to cause rapid weight loss and improved metabolic function in its subjects. So, in order to cure the obesity epidemic, everybody get cancer quick!

Denmark implemented a so-called “fat tax” where they tax certain foods more depending on the percentage of saturated fat in the food. This is a surprising move from the country who’s most famous export is the Danish.

A health and safety agency is warning consumers that those little sets of strong building mini-magnets often given as gifts can be potentially fatal to children if swallowed. In an unrelated story, malt ball companies are looking to spruce up holiday sales of their candies by decorating them in metallic, silvery, winter colors.

Mariah Carey announced today that her twins have started eating solid foods. The beaming entertainer turned mom added, “The next step in their development is learning to count calories.”

Ashton Kutcher is giving up management of his Twitter feed after some controversy. Though many fans are upset by the move, Kutcher’s wife Demi Moore is said to be most upset since she will no longer be able to communicate directly to her husband.

A pregnant Jessica Simpson says she loves being pregnant and is already planning for more children. Most women agree that her mind will change after the actual act of childbirth.