Britney Spears promises next song will not have sexual undertones

After a slew of songs that are all based around one single message and theme-sexuality-Britney Spears has promised to reinvent herself yet again. She claims to want to appear wholesome to the American public again, and to send a positive message to the millions of young girls who listen to her music and support her career.

The change came about after Spears’ latest hit singles, “If U Seek Amy” and “3”, barely try to hide anymore that her underlying message is sexual. These songs parallel her stage outfits which also barely try to hide, well, anything on her body.

Spears’ claims to have realized that she is in a position of influence on American culture and wants to use her power to make good. She says next time she’s in the recording studio repeating a few lines over and over to a techno beat background, she will attempt for those lines to be wholesome. Or at least neutral. No sexuality at all.

With Spears’ celebrity power and the millions of dollars she commands every performance, it could mark an incredible shift music industry standards.

Britney Spears already admits lying about most recent promise

After claiming she would attempt to be wholesome for the first time in her career, Britney Spears has now reneged on her promise to not have sexual undertones in her songs. She said simply, “Yeah, my agent said it would be a good PR stunt if I told y’all that. No way I’m gonna do it though.”

At her follow up press conference, Spears was wearing nothing but three strategically placed maple leaves. She did a pole dance, shimmied, and made small screams and wink at all reporters-male and female.