Yesterday, former President Bill Clinton negotiated the release of two American journalists, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, who had been detained by North Korea since March on charges of conducting a smear campaign against the government. For President Clinton, bringing home these women was routine. His wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, simply stated, “When it comes to Bill and women, this is nothing surprising.”
Clinton and N. Korea respectfully agree to disrespect each other
As Clinton spends time in and around different Asian countries this week, her rhetoric is slowly diminishing with North Korean representatives. After likening them to attention-starved children, North Korea fired back with their own slew of insults for Mrs. Clinton.
Though, on the surface, the spat seems to be about a deep-seeded struggle for power and testing Clinton’s diplomacy and resolve, a closer look at the situation reveals the true tension between the two countries. An eyewitness reveals that at the Asian Summit a couple weeks ago both Secretary Clinton and North Korean Foreign Ministry spokesman decided to wear the same light blue pant suit and pearls, making the two diplomats almost impossible to differentiate. “Everyone was snickering,” the same unnamed eyewitness added. “They were both really embarrassed but too stubborn to change. It was all the gossip at the Summit. That’s really when the problems started.”
When confronted about the situation, Clinton remains mature and eloquent, refusing to admit anything about the matching pantsuits. “He started it,” Clinton states. “I was just minding my own business and he started being mean to me for no reason. Sticks and stones and nukes may break my bones but words will never hurt me. So there.”
Though North Korea declined an interview with us, they did issue a simple statement regarding the feud, saying “She’s not our mother. We don’t have to listen to her if we don’t want to. And, for the record, we all have our cootie shots, so she is powerless to infect us with her girl-ness.”
As the weeks continue, we will monitor this serious situation and keep you loyal readers updated on any breaking news.