Pants Trick

pants_too_largeAs usual, I put too much on my plate. And as usual, my workouts are suffering as a result.

I don’t foresee a time when I can really get back to the gym at the level I want until after my birthday on August 15 (Happy early birthday? Awww aren’t you sweet! Thank you!). I’ve got a lot of great things happening up until then and I’m gonna have to rest on my laurels and do some quick at-home workouts until then.

So to keep myself from going crazy, I’m going to have to watch my diet more rigorously so I don’t expand like a balloon. And I’m going to do the old pants trick. Where I wear a set of jeans a bunch of times before I wash them. Not because I’m trying to be gross. But because they stretch out. And in stretching, they make me feel skinnier. Like I’ve lost weight. When I know I haven’t… but at least my body thinks it’s still in good shape.

Hooray for poor hygiene!

*If you don’t want to hang out with me until August 16 when I return to regularly scheduled washing of my clothes… I’ll understand. But I’ll still expect a Happy Birthday text on the 15th. 

Hot clothes = hot body?

Let me be clear- I don’t go to the gym to look good. I go to the gym to make my body look good, so when I leave the gym and take a shower and put on some nice clothes and make up, I look good.

Maybe it’s because I was an athelete when I was growing up. When you play sports, you workout in jerseys and ugly shorts. You wear t-shirts that you don’t care if they get dirty or sweaty. You focus more on the performance than how you look while doing it (obviously, pretty people sports like figure skating, synchronized swimming, and UFC fighting are exceptions…).

I have yet to really embrace the transition into adulthood where people seem to care about what they look like when they’re at the gym. It’s confusing to me. I’m not there to be seen. I like to be quiet and anonymous. I don’t want to be noticed. I want to be not bothered.

I don’t understand the obsession with matching gear. Some days, I’m proud of myself for having a cute outfit that goes together, but that’s like once a month after I’ve done laundry. After that day, I’m lucky if I can piece together all the necessary items to get in a good workout. I try not to mix things that blatantly don’t work together, but if it’s all I’ve got- I’d rather go looking like a 5-year-old who’s mommy let them choose their clothes for once than not go out of vanity.

Having said all that… I have noticed when I look better at the gym, I sometimes will work harder because I’m motivated at how my body looks in the rocking workout clothes.

Then again, maybe I just look at myself in the mirror more when I look nice than on the days when I have eye gunk still in my eyes, an oversized-t-shirt, football shorts I stole from my high school, and a rat’s nest on my head.

Who knows.

All socks accounted for after tumultuous laundry excursion

For James Reedy, the thought of doing laundry again sickened him. It had been almost a full month since his last difficult trek to the facilities in his building’s basement, and his pile of dirty clothes had been ominously growing over the past week.

After finally accepting that another trip to the laundry room was inevitable, he grabbed the necessary supplies, took a deep breath, and headed to the room.

It was no surprise to Reedy when he saw that one of the three washing machines available was broken. Nor was he shocked to see small creatures scurrying about the room, poorly attempting to hide themselves before they were squished.

What Reedy hated seeing were the orphaned socks lying all around the room, left lonely and forgotten by several different owners. The sight made his heart drop. He held back tears as he carefully placed all his clothes-socks included-into the functioning washers. As he went back upstairs, he attempted to forget the disturbing images of the socks lying strewn about. But they were, admittedly, hard to shake.

“I just kept thinking, how could anyone forget their socks and not come back looking for them?” Reedy explained. “It’s appalling.”

When the necessary time came, Reedy reentered the messy area and carefully transferred his clothes to the one functioning dryer.

“I always check two or three time to make sure none of my clothes are left in the washer or accidentally fell on the floor,” he explains. “I scan extra hard for my socks.”

Between the several trips up and down his stairs, the transferring of the clothes from the hamper to the washer then the dryer then back to the hamper, and finally the folding process-there are plenty of opportunities to lose the smallest members of his personal laundry. Reedy is guilty of losing clothes in the past.

“I’m not proud of it,” he admits, his lip quivering slightly. He recounts the story of when he wasn’t as careful with this things, and how he would always find he was missing a sock or two when he was finally done with his laundry. His shame, he claims, would keep him from returning to reclaim his property.

After waiting patiently for his clothes in the dryer to be fully dry, Reedy took his load back upstairs to begin folding. For him, this is the “moment of truth.” It is when he finds out what kind of leader he truly is for his clothes who trust him to take care of them.

As he matches the final two socks together, Reedy breathes a sigh of relief. “I made it this time,” he says with a smile. “This time.”