Welp… That Was Embarrassing

I thought my old terrible gym that was being completely remodeled was reopened. I was so excited! Just in time for the new year! I can get back on my old schedule instead of this early bird stuff! I don’t have to fight for parking! So much less stress! Hurrah!

The only reason I thought it was open was because I drove by a couple times and the lights were on and it seemed to be open.

So in my mind, it must be open. I got ready in the morning, put on my gym clothes, grabbed my gym bag, and went to the gym.

When I got there, I was so surprised at how nobody was there yet and there was still so much construction. Rather than thinking, “Oh… maybe it’s not open…” I thought, “Gee! I’m so lucky nobody’s realized it’s opened yet! I’ll get to have it all to myself!”

And when I saw the construction crews still working, I didn’t think “Oh, look, still under construction… maybe not open…” I thought, “Gee, I wonder how that will affect the people clearly working out inside!”

So I walked in and tried to hand my membership card to the lady at the desk. Then and only then did I realize it wasn’t open.

And that’s because she said, “Oh, we’re not open yet.”

I looked around. It was empty. It looks pretty and will be nice when it finally does reopen. So I just said, “Oh… right. That makes sense I guess.”

I could have called. I could have gone online. I could have used my handy dandy app to figure out if it’s ready. There are so many things I could have done to double-check.

Instead I just showed up in all my gear and looked like a doofus.

Oh, well. I guess I’ll call ahead next time to find out when they’re officially reopening.

And even then, I might wait another week just to be safe.

Gym Closure!

Last week, I packed up my gym bag, put on my workout gear and headed to my usual (dinky) gym. I arrived to find that they had started construction on it.

Now, it should be noted: I knew the construction was coming. They’d been talking about it for months. I thought they were going to start back in May. Last I asked the people working there, they said that’s when they thought it was going to start. It is now October. And I guess they decided now is as good a time as any.

The gym needs to be revamped. It needs major changes. It definitely needs a facelift. But there were no warning signs telling us that it was going to close down. And based on how everything else there seems to run, I have no idea when it’s going to open back up.

I didn’t get my workout in that day. Fine. No big deal. I’m not so obsessive that I need to get a major sweat in every day. I have flexibility in my schedule and can work around this stuff. Not worth getting all in a huff about.

But I have had to revamp my morning schedule completely. I’m lucky that there’s another gym close to me. It’s actually a lot bigger, newer, and nicer. And it’s technically a mile closer to me.

I don’t go there in the mornings for two reasons:

1. You have to park in a structure and remember to get your card validated. And, sometimes people can block you in, so you may have to leave your keys with a parking attendant. And all that is a lot of work.

And 2. In LA there is one major factor you have to plan around… traffic.

The old gym I was going to had no real traffic issues. I could easily go at any time in the morning and not have trouble. This gym- despite being closer- requires I take a major street in LA. I have to be at the gym by 7ish or traffic gets so bad, it’s not worth it.

Yes. That’s correct. By 7:30 am, the traffic on this street can get so backed up that a 5 minute drive turns into a 35 minute drive. That’s the price you pay for living in LA. Respect the traffic.

So for the past week, I’ve been getting up early to get to the gym in time on my workout days. It’s actually been a great excuse for me to get out of bed early. Before, I could always convince myself that I could sleep in. Now I know I can’t. If I sleep in those extra 10 minutes, I won’t be able to get my workout in.

So I get up. I get my ass in gear. And I go to the nicer, shinier, newer gym and get my workout in and move on with my day.

I’m trying to make friends with the parking attendant. So far, he’s having none of it. But I’ll wear him down. I wear everyone down eventually. Ask any of my “friends.”

All in all, it’s made me a more productive person.

And also a much sleepier one.

The Dinkiest Gym in All The Land

My gym is terrible.

It’s dark and smelly.

At any given time, at least half of the cardio machines have an “Out of Order” sign on them. At least half of the supposedly “working” machines do not function properly.

The pool is filled with old people, fat people, or some combination thereof.

The sauna stopped working.

The weight room is gross. I’ve seen the same water bottle sitting in the corner for a week, giving me little faith it gets cleaned on a regular basis.

The mats for stretching are from 1912 and barely hanging on by a thread.

In the locker room, half of the lockers are bent out of shape so they don’t open properly. Some of them are cut so you can’t put your lock in them. Others are sticky inside.

In the shower rooms, most of them don’t have a curtain for privacy. And the hot water only works on some of the showers. And one time, I showered right after they cleaned it with industrial cleaner and I got a sinus infection for a week from the strong fumes.

It doesn’t have air conditioning. At least it doesn’t feel like it.

You have to pay 50 cents for parking every time you leave.

Supposedly, it was going to start construction three months ago. Some people walked around. Nothing has been started and nobody has been warned.

And yet I love it.

I am totally anonymous there. I don’t have to impress anyone. Nobody pays attention to anyone else. Everyone has the same crappy expectations. Everyone is just in there to do some work on themselves and get the hell out. I know where everything is. I recognize people who work and workout at the same times I’m there. I’m comfortable. I trust it.

What the hell is that all about?