Femoir the Podcast – Season 3, Episode 107: Momentum

Hi friends,

This episode is all about momentum. Getting it. Keeping it. Why it’s necessary. How to harness it. And how it can be intimidating.

Clyde makes cameo noises again, like the cutie he is.

We discuss trains leaving stations, how momentum builds, how new demons show up, Resistance (my favorite), and how there’s always something in the proverbial box (not like this box, a much sweeter more imaginative and less gross box).

Plus, there’s some talk about improvisation and dating…two activities that are both super fun on their own that become significantly less fun when you overlap. Take it from me (and my mistakes).

Subscribing and rating help the show get momentum (what we’re talking about!). But listening keeps it going, so thank you, as always.

 

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Femoir the Podcast – Season 3, Episode 106: Trust Fall

I think one of the hardest parts about making changes is making space for them. I know that I am (very) guilty of not ever wanting to give anything up.

…Then I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted and go back to the same patterns I did before and, pretty soon, wonder why nothing every changes.

Hello again, friends.

I think one of the hardest parts about making changes is making space for them. I know that I am (very) guilty of not ever wanting to give anything up. Thanks to a lot of work, I’ve learned to be less of a hoarder of physical things. But when it comes to emotional patterns or routines that I’ve become comfortable in, I very much like to keep as much of everything as possible and just add on rather than taking way. I’m always convincing myself that I can make changes by just willing them into place and forcing myself to take on too much.

Then I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted and go back to the same patterns I did before and, pretty soon, wonder why nothing every changes.

We have to learn to let go. We have to learn to trust our gut when it’s asking us to let something go. We have to learn that, like in any trust fall, there’s a moment between being balanced and being caught that feels terrifying. But we have to trust that there’s something catching us after that free fall moment.

That’s what this episode is all about.

I discuss trust falls, leadership building, and how I gave up two things that were both very precious to me in order to make space for new adventures.

I also talk about relationship break ups, choosing happiness, and trusting yourself.

Plus, little Clydie makes audible cameos while chewing stuff and it’s pretty adorable, if I do say so myself.

Subscribing and rating helps the show grow. Listening keeps it going.

Thank you friends!

Stoop Sittin’

If you do a quick perusal of anything I write about or share, it won’t take you long to figure out that I’m a big fan of dogs in general. And I’ve got what some have called an “unhealthy obsession” with my own dogs. Or, as my neighbor once put it, “I’ve never seen a human love her pets as much as you love those dogs.”

And it’s true. They’re perfect light creatures meant to bring nothing but happiness and companionship into this world. So, yeah, I’m pretty obsessed with them.

But it’s not just their doe eyes and floppy ears that I love. I’m constantly learning from them.

Okay, listen. I realize that people saying they learn from their dogs is as innovative and refreshing as people saying “boy, men and women are really different, aren’t they?” So let me be clear that I understand that I’m not breaking new ground here. I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to further fertilize ground that has been broken for years so I can plant a new seed for this current season.

I’m not totally sure but I think I really like that metaphor.

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Anyway, I want to tell you a little about one of my absolute favorite activities my dog does that is the best lesson in the world for me.

Clyde (my younger pup aka my Tasmanian Devil with a heart of gold) has a lot of quirky personality traits. But I’ll be damned if there has ever existed a dog more happy to be alive than that little hooligan. His favorite thing in the morning is just to go outside and sit and smell the fresh air.

Though right now we only have access to a balcony for them to enjoy the breeze without going on a full walk, he and my girl Bonnie don’t care. She likes to sit outside and watch over her kingdom (aka the apartment complex) and yell at intruders. And my Clyde likes to just look and smile. He just sits outside, takes in the smells, and is more present in the moment than any zen monk who ever meditated for hours.

My in-laws joke that first thing in the morning, Clyde likes to get up and just sit outside by himself. He smells the early morning air and listens to the birds as the world awakens. It drives them crazy because he wants to be outside at least an hour before sunrise to really take it all in. But he’s more than happy just enjoying it on his own without any distractions.

At home, he sleeps in and enjoys morning cuddles. But you’d better believe after his day has started, all he wants to do is enjoy the fresh air on the porch and feel the cool breeze on his perfect golden mane.

My absolute favorite thing he does, which is what I titled this piece after, is when we walk back in from a walk and he just wants to sit on the stairs of the apartment complex by our entrance. The first time he did it, he just sat down and looked at me, basically beckoning me to sit by him. At first, I thought we didn’t have time for this. But I quickly realized that he just wants a couple minutes to soak in the beauty around him with someone by his side. So for such a worthy cause, there’s always time to be made.

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Now, when we walk in  and he’s in the mood for “Stoop Sittin’” he just walks right up to the step and sits down with his little cute face turning around to me asking to join. When I sit next to him, he often puts his paw on my knee and smiles his big dopey smile. And I get to scratch him while we simply smell the air and listen to the leaves and watch the hummingbirds fight each other over the apartment feeders.

It’s bliss.

I have a tendency to move fast. I like to be productive and get going. I like to be active and get my energy out. Funny enough, both my dogs have similar tendencies – especially my sweet little psychopath boy. But if he can insist on finding time to simply be in the present moment and enjoy the world around him, I certainly can, too.

Femoir the Podcast – Season 3, Episode 96: FEAR & FLOPPY EARS

img_1173Let me apologize in advance. This episode centers around a story that involves my dogs, therefore you’ll be getting a lot of dog pictures in this post because any time we talk about my dogs, I feel it’s incredibly important to show you just how cute they are.

 

 

Seriously, though, look at them. They’re so precious.

 

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Anyway, this podcast features a story about how a lady was terrified of these dogs.

Yes these same cutie cherubs sitting right here, cuddling in their floppy softness with each other.

The whole podcast is really about fear, and how this one random lady’s fear was a great learning lesson in both patience and empathy. And how her physically paralyzing fear is a lesson for all of us.

Spoiler alert, she was somehow scared of these cutie patooties.

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Pretty ridiculous, I know.

Anyway, the podcast is available today along with a bunch of other archived ones if you subscribe on iTunes.

Now two more pics for good measure.

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Days Off

angry lion

Last week I wasn’t exactly myself.

I’ve been a little distracted by several projects on the docket. And I took some time to work on them. And I got a little behind on many of them (which is what happens when you take too much on by yourself). So when I got behind, I had even less time and more stress to get done all the things I wanted and expected myself to take care of in a given week.

I’ve talked before on this blog about how often my exercise takes a back seat when I’m working on other projects. I try hard for it not to, but it happens sometimes.

That’s what happened last week. But I learned a valuable lesson.

While it’s ok  to cut yourself some slack if you don’t make it to the gym every day, it turns out I’m no exactly myself when I don’t make it to the gym often. I took a four day break. Four full days where I did no exercise at all. And honestly, as I look at the schedule, I don’t know of anything I could have fixed to make it better.

So by Friday morning, I was a total b*tch. I wasn’t friendly at all. I headed over to my partner Arye’s apartment to work on some stuff for our web series, The Other Client List, and I was crabby. I was cussing non-stop and blaming everyone around me for every little thing. I noticed I was doing it and knew it was a result of something being off-kilter, but I didn’t know at the time what. Then I realized what… I hadn’t been to the gym. I haven’t been great about my time management. I have been letting a lot of social media suck away valuable creative or healthy time. I’ve been a little distracted during the weeks as a result from so much focus on the weekends. All in all, I just wasn’t myself.

Luckily for me, Arye has an adorable dog named Sasha. I stormed into her apartment an angry b*tch and was greeted by a smiling, adorable, cuddly furry creature that just wanted to love me.

I sat down on the ground immediately and nearly broke down as Sasha let me cuddle with her.

She saved me from the angry person.

So now begins a new challenge to myself. I took care of a lot of me things last night and got plenty of rest. Starting tomorrow, I get up early. I exercise and create in the mornings. I take care to be in bed by a reasonable hour. I monitor the amount of time I spend on meaningless social media and internet searches. And I meditate. Daily.

These are goals I often have. But when I’m not careful, I let them slide. I learned last week what happens when they slide for too long. It ain’t pretty. So gotta fix it.

I’ll keep you updated on how it goes.

Doggie

Normally, creativity is my way of relaxing. After a long day or a rough weekend or a tough conversation, I love to write and be creative. My parents at first worried that I spent all my free time constantly creating. Until they realized that creating was my way of letting off steam. It was my way of coping with the world around me. Writing and performing are how I address my anxiety. They’re how I meditate. They’re how I get in a good headspace. They’re when I feel most useful, most connected to humanity, most alive.

But sometimes, there are outlets I can do that are not creative that also relax me. Like hanging out with dogs.

I love dogs. I love love love them. I’m mildly obsessed. I want to own one. Someday. I would do it now, but I know that I would have to sacrifice a lot of things I’m not willing to sacrifice right now, and it would be more of a hinderance than a help. At the moment.

But once in a while, I get to hang out with dogs that are not my own. I’m doing that right now. I’m dog sitting for a lovely family (who I normally babysit for) who have a wonderfully cuddly adorable sweet dog named Romeo. He’s perfect and cute and sweet and cuddly and did I mention adorable? And he looooooves me. Because I loooooove him. So we just loooooooove each other.

Love bug Kisses attack Little lovie

So this week didn’t start out super “productive.” I haven’t done any open mics since I picked him up on Saturday morning. I don’t plan on hanging out with any friends until he’s back with him family Tuesday night. I’ve tried to take time to write, but I’ve spent a lot of time petting him and telling him how pretty he is. Because seriously. Look at him. He’s so pretty and perfect.

But I have been on a lot of long walks. I have been walking up and down the streets of my neighborhood looking around and smelling things I don’t normally take the time to soak in. I’ve been to the beach to relax and enjoy the company of other dogs and dog-owners. I’ve been woken up by sweet slobbery kisses for the first time since I lived at home and my own dog, Mugsy, used to do it. I’ve been whispering sweet nothings into his ear just to make him feel better like I used to do with my other dog, Snoopy (hence the name… the Snoopy Digest…).

I’ve been relaxing without producing. And I’m a-ok with it.

I will be ready to start up normal life again, of course, but I’m in no rush.

p.s. Did I mention he’s my little shadow and follows me everywhere and is sitting under my desk right now as I type this? Because he is and it’s SO CUTE.

Stump

It should be known right here and right now that I have a mild (okay huge) obsession with dogs…so I may be ranting and raving about them quite a bit. Case in point, this rocking dog, Stump, who just won Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show on Tuesday. He was 10…10! And he’s got big adorable floppy years…

Check it out: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/lopresti/2009-02-11-stump-dog-show_N.htm