I’m Going In

October was an odd month for me. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of being really in touch with my gut and lots of waking up in Cavecold anxiety-provoked sweats because something was off but I didn’t know what.

Maybe I sound dramatic. But that’s my style. So deal.

It really was an odd month. A bunch of strange things that kept making me feel more “off” than usual. For various reasons that I’m not going to get into here.

Needless to say, it was a bit of a wash of a month for me in terms of my positivity and productivity.

And I kinda just let myself wallow a little bit. And I don’t regret it. Because I didn’t want to push myself. As a woman who can easily push down her emotions and let good old denial take the reigns, I have to be careful to not just ignore how I’m feeling because it’s inconvenient and not productive.

I was tired and sad. So I let myself be tired and sad.

I was lucky that one of my bestest friends in the world and one of the most positive people I know happen to also be going through a weird month. I wasn’t lucky because I wished that on her by any means. But we both agreed it was kinda nice to have someone to wallow with. It made us both feel a little less alone.

But we decided November is the cut off. Once November starts, the name of the game is productivity, positivity, and proactivity. We’re going to distract ourselves into thinking we’re back on track. And maybe by doing so, we’ll actually get back on track.

I stayed in on Halloween and spent the whole time writing emails and making an ambitious schedule and setting clear goals for the rest of the year. And journaling. God I journaled the shit outta those emotions.

And I woke up November 1 excited and ready. I’m no longer going to wallow. I exorcised those demons on All Hallows Eve. It’s time to focus on me and focus on the things I love most- creativity and entertainment. I call this “going in” because I’m about to turn my focus into hyperdrive. I’m gonna be on a bleeping mission for the next several weeks. And I’m gonna accomplish a boat load.

I’m going into the cave of wonder and focus. If I’m not out by the holidays… just know I went down doing what I love.

Vegans presence at barbeque makes meat-eaters uncomfortable

Neighbors in a local Chicago community, looking to enjoy the fall weather with a traditional cookout, were uncomfortable with the unexpected presence of a vegan.

The cookout hosts immediately looked around for something for the vegan to eat. When they offered fish, she denied it saying vegans don’t eat fish. When they offered egg salad, she denied it saying vegans don’t eat eggs. When they finally offered her an apple, she happily accepted.

Her two previous denials, however, upset many other cookout guests. Afraid they’d be offending her by eating their meat, they began to hide their burgers from her. She insisted that the gesture was worthless, claiming, “I don’t care what you eat. I just don’t want to eat one!” This logic was lost on the guests, though, who felt judged by the vegan because she didn’t join in the carnivore-y.

The vegan claimed she just wanted to be part of the community, saying, “I didn’t mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to say ‘hi’.” She say this is a very common problem for her at many social outlets. The people around her don’t understand why she won’t eat the same things they are, and assume she is judging them for their choices. “I often get, ‘I’m sorry-does this bother you?’ when someone’s eating meat near me,” she says. “As long as they’re not feeding it to me, it doesn’t bother me at all.”

Despite her easy-going nature, the vegan still stands out at a barbeque like a sore thumb, a common occurrence for vegans everywhere. While others enjoy their grilled animals and snack foods, vegans are often found munching on pieces of fruit in the corner and trying not to look uncomfortable.