Make-a-the-sexy

russianI was at the gym the other day focusing on my legs. Some people call it “leg day.” Most people who use talk like that, though I can only stand for short periods of time so I refuse to call it leg day.

So I was at the gym for leg day, and these two older women came up to use the leg machines near me. They were tentative about using the machines, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. I was half-way through leg day. And dude, brah, listen, leg day is like real tough, ya know?

At one point, I was isolating my hams… hold on, let me take a giant chug of this Muscle Milk before I continue my story. Anyway, I was on a machine to work my hamstrings and the two women seemed to both be quietly looking at me. I was rockin’ out so hard to some serious heavy metal- you know, gettin’ in my zone, tryna get that PUMP- I didn’t notice at first. Finally, I took out my headphones to see if they had a question or whatever.

The one next to me asked me how to use the machine. I adjusted it for her, told her how to use it and we experimented on how much weight to use. If it were me, like, you know, obvs I go HARD, but I that’s cuz I’m like a beast, brah.

I showed her how to use a few machines around us including the one I was on. She looked at me as I was showing her and said, “Oh, you make-a-the-sexy” and pointed to my rear-end.

I was like chyeaaaahhhh, took a swig of whey protein isolate, and got right back to leg day.

Chyeaaaah brah. Makin’ the sexy.

And now I hate myself.

 

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Actual Gym Boyfriend!

Ask and ye shall receive.gym couple

You guys… I have a gym boyfriend. One more meeting and he’s basically a gym husband at this point.

I’m so excited I can hardly stand it!

Here’s what happened: I got a late night workout in last week. I was doing stuff on the bench press. I remember because I remember thinking how lucky I was to snag a bench press. Little did I know that was only the start to my luck.

I was doing combo moves, one of which included using the bench press to step up in like a horizontal lunge.

Two guys were not far from me on another machine. I didn’t pay attention to them. How could I know one was my future gym boyfriend? We can’t always tell these things!

So I’m between sets, resting for a minute and magic happens. A guy comes up to me and says, “I like your shoes,” and smiles. I was like “Oh… yeah… thanks.” I wore my ridiculously bright shoes. I didn’t even realize I was like a bird in the wild with my crazy colors attempting to attract the opposite sex. But that’s exactly what I did.

Then he smiled at me. Yes. You read that correctly. He SMILED at me.

So I put my headphones back in and looked down. Keep in mind, my last gym fling didn’t last. I don’t know if I’m ready for more gym commitment. I just didn’t know.

But he and his friend stayed closed. He made funny faces at me. I made my eyes wide and awkwardly looked around. He asked if I needed a spot. I didn’t have any weight on the bench press because I was focused on high reps not heavy weight. I said no but thank you. Then I started forcing myself to breathe because this is the most I’d talked to anyone at the gym in a very long time.

Then I went to a different section to stretch. It was by the stairs to go upstairs. He wandered around saying hi and bye to various people. Before he went up the stairs, he made a point to say bye to me. He made it a point, you guys. It was… exhilarating .

I mumbled bye awkwardly and continued stretching.

I haven’t seen him since. But I can’t wait until our second gym date. Maybe I’ll even make eye contact this time. WHO KNOWS!

Everyone’s so friendly?!

The past two weeks at my gym have been odd. Not  because I have to choose odd exercises to compensate for this hurting foot, though that hasn’t been spectacular.

It’s been odd at my gym because…everyone’s being so nice to each other.

Normally, I’m totally anonymous. And I kinda like it that way. I like being quietly left to my workout so I can lose myself in my breath and my awesome music. I can get oddly anxious about things most people don’t think twice about. If I think someone is watching me, I inherently put on a small show. Whether or not they actually are watching. It’s the performer that comes out. And I love the performer- she’s my favorite version of myself- but she gets a lot of time already in Briana-world. Sometimes, I like to be the quiet, awkward, unfriendly, poorly dressed girl who clearly didn’t brush her hair this morning that’s lifting in the corner while everyone around her swears she’s a lesbian. I like her because she’s totally different than my somewhat put-together, friendly, out-going funny flirty girl. I’m very much both people- just different versions of myself depending on my circumstances.

What does any of this have to do with the people around me being friendlier? Well, if I know them by name and see them often, I could start feeling self-conscious when I’m around them. Because I know them. We’ve had a conversation. I’m expected to be friendly now. I should probably make small talk. At some point, we may talk about what we both do outside the gym. I’ve got to always be sure I wave hello and goodbye if I’m waking by because I’m midwestern and we’re really polite and that’s just what you do with people you know. I can’t just be lost in my own thoughts anymore, I now have to be aware in case someone I know is around.

I’ve seen this one guy several times. He works at the gym. He’s often there when I am. Last week, he smiled at me. Then a few days later, he half waved when he saw me. Then the next time I came in, he scanned my card introduced himself. Now I know his name. And he knows mine. He smiled at me again when I walked out of the locker room and headed to my workout. As I write this, I realize this could sound flirty. It’s not. It’s just friendly. But the point is, he knows me know. And I know him. We’ve got eye contact established. Now I have to be nice to him.

The last time I went to the gym, a new guy was working the desk. When he scanned me in, he made small talk then said “Have a nice workout, Briana” and smiled again. Now I gotta be nice to this guy, too.

It’s confusing. I don’t know if I like it or not. We’ll see.

Maybe it’ll make me workout harder, though, if I think people are watching me.

That is, of course, when my foot starts cooperating again and I can return to my normal routine.

Until then, I drink a Bud Light Lime and I write about working out.