friends – Briana Hansen

Femoir: The Podcast – Partners! Show Notes

February 4, 2015 Briana Hansen1 Comment

I’ve been watching a lot of Game of Thrones lately… so forgive the very specific partnership picture. I talk about being a lone wolf, but if you watch the show there’s a wolf in this picture so I’m counting it (nerdy laughter!).

Anyway! The latest episode of Femoir: The Podcast is live in iTunes. And it’s talking about PARTNERSHIPS!

I talk about how I’m going to vary my intro like the Simpsons, then I dive into being “particular about my company,” and talk about a famous song from Chicago about partnership. I discuss my solo show and my stand up comedy, make a reference to a delightful Chris Tucker moment, talk about how I write about partnership often, discuss Stage 32, The Other Client List (my web series), talk about Closure, and how not all partnerships can work out.

And I also discuss my upcoming Western.

So much discussed! Take a listen and subscribe for free if it please ya!

And now back to Game of Thrones for me…

Batgirl

November 18, 2014November 18, 2014 Briana Hansen1 Comment

My good friend Whitney (who has a hilarious website you should check out here) has this contraption. It’s for hanging upside down. Or maybe upsidown, depending on your education level. I had heard of these contraptions and heard they were good for you before, but I had not experienced it for myself.

Well thanks to Whitney, I got to experience it for myself. I got to hang upside down like a bat. It was kinda awesome. And very intense.

Whitney helped me flip over slowly. And truth be told, I didn’t go all the way upside down my first try. That’s pretty intense for anyone and I wanted to take ‘er easy. But my second try I did. For a total of 20 seconds. Then I got the giggles and had to come back up to catch my breath (thanks a lot to my hilarious soul buddy who got me giggling while I was hanging). But even just angled mostly upside down is very intense. The blood rushes to all sorts of places it’s not used to going and your body gets jiggly in ways you didn’t know it could jiggle.

If you’ll recall my last post, I had a minor back issue for a week or so. I tried this hanging thing to help it out. I didn’t feel anything at first except a good (and odd) stretch all over. Then as I was coming back up, there was a very specific point when I could feel my vertebrae screaming at me. We isolated the pain! I found the exact angle I needed to stretch it out a little on this terrifying medieval torture contraption. And I worked it out. And cried a little. But as a creative-type, most of my friends are used to randomly crying at any given moment, so everybody stayed cool.

And the next couple days I really felt great. I’m actually considering getting one of these contraptions myself sometime. It seems to work wonders and Whitney swears by it.

Plus, if people ask what you’re up to, you can say “Just hangin’ out” and then laugh uncontrollably at your own cleverness.

My Totally 10 Year Reunion

October 1, 2014September 30, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

Last weekend was my 10-year high school reunion. I dreamt of that day since my freshman year in high school. I couldn’t wait until I triumphantly returned to my class and got to brag about all the incredible things I’d done with my life in the past decade. I’d be like Romy and Michele except I wouldn’t have to lie because I’d actually be super successful (though if I did lie, it’d be way more believable than inventing post-its).

But, like most things in life, the past decade didn’t go as I had planned back in high school. What actually happened is that I was unable to make it back for the weekend because I couldn’t afford a plane ticket from LA to Indy and was already booked for a couple shows in LA. But I could have gotten out of the shows. Truth is, I just couldn’t afford the ticket.

Because I’m not yet financially successful. I couldn’t arrive in a limo or in a helicopter like I wanted. I couldn’t even arrive on a Southwest redeye I paid for with a credit card because I don’t have the money available on the credit card and don’t have the time to give off work. I’m far from home out here in LA so a trip like that is a commitment. I know friends who were able to make the trek to say hi. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’m juggling too much here in LA too delicately. Too much time off and something has to give. And I’m not yet in a position to be able to give anything up. So I didn’t go.

I was class president for two years and student body president my senior year. And I didn’t make it to my 10-year high school reunion.

In case you can’t tell, I’ll just say it- I was disappointed. Not because I had anything to prove. I actually had wonderful friends in high school, many of whom I keep up with regularly. I even get to talk to some of my teachers too because social media is great for all that. And I’ve been back to my high school a couple times since graduation so it’s not like I’m a stranger around there.

I was disappointed not only because I wanted to be there but I think I wanted to be further along in my career at this point, too. I wanted to be able to tell people that I had a dream and I made it a reality and look at the cool stuff I have to show for it. But not really because I needed to show other people. I think I just wanted to prove it to myself.

I know I’ve chosen a different life path than many of my peers. And I’m happy with where I am and happy with the decisions I’ve made. I know as a result my journey is windier and weirder because it’s more unconventional. And that’s ok. But sometimes, there are clear reminders that I will miss out because of my choice. Missing my 10-year reunion was one of those reminders.

So if any of my BJPS Class of ’04 buddies are reading this, I hope the reunion was awesome. I would have loved to have been there and gotten drunk with you (since I was such a prude and a nerd and never did so in high school). I would have loved to have heard about your careers and your kids and your spouses and your sex changes and your college years and your job complaints and your future goals. Please know that I was there in spirit. And hopefully I’ll catch you at the next one. Because I swear to god if I can’t afford a friggin ticket to Indianapolis by then, I’m going to run away and join the nunnery. I hear they love comedians.

Make-a-the-sexy

August 26, 2014 Briana Hansen1 Comment

russian I was at the gym the other day focusing on my legs. Some people call it “leg day.” Most people who use talk like that, though I can only stand for short periods of time so I refuse to call it leg day.

So I was at the gym for leg day, and these two older women came up to use the leg machines near me. They were tentative about using the machines, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. I was half-way through leg day. And dude, brah, listen, leg day is like real tough, ya know?

At one point, I was isolating my hams… hold on, let me take a giant chug of this Muscle Milk before I continue my story. Anyway, I was on a machine to work my hamstrings and the two women seemed to both be quietly looking at me. I was rockin’ out so hard to some serious heavy metal- you know, gettin’ in my zone, tryna get that PUMP- I didn’t notice at first. Finally, I took out my headphones to see if they had a question or whatever.

The one next to me asked me how to use the machine. I adjusted it for her, told her how to use it and we experimented on how much weight to use. If it were me, like, you know, obvs I go HARD, but I that’s cuz I’m like a beast, brah.

I showed her how to use a few machines around us including the one I was on. She looked at me as I was showing her and said, “Oh, you make-a-the-sexy” and pointed to my rear-end.

I was like chyeaaaahhhh, took a swig of whey protein isolate, and got right back to leg day.

Chyeaaaah brah. Makin’ the sexy.

And now I hate myself.

My REAL Fitness Pal

July 31, 2014July 30, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

besties I’m trying it again. If you recall, I think My Fitness Pal is a jerk. But, as I mentioned earlier in this week, I’m on a Data Diet. And because I can’t fork up the big bucks for a personal trainer or a personalized diet and fitness coach yet, I’m gonna give this asshole app another try. But this time, I’ve enlisted help from a friend.

My friend let me stay with him for Comic Con and we were lucky enough to get to hang out almost all weekend. And he got to meet Data, too. And he was as inspired to get into shape as I am. So we talked about it and decided we’d get each other’s backs and do this dumb Fitness Pal thing again.

So I made him my friend on there (the only one I have because I don’t like sharing all my information with everyone- contrary to the impression this website may give…). I can see how he’s doing and he can see how I’m doing. And because I don’t see him every day and only chat with him periodically, it could be perfect. I’m gonna assume he’s working hard at his diet and exercise and he’ll assume the same for me. And we can check in with each other’s progress on the app. And provide moral support when needed. And not let each other get away with excuses.

At least that’s the hope. We’ll see how it goes…

Talented Friends

July 10, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

Not to brag… but I have some really friggin talented friends.

I’m consistently blown away by the sheer level of talent that I’m constantly surrounded by. They’re not Oscar nominees like the people in the picture. But it’s only a matter of time before we all take our own selfie at our own award show we created through on our own terms. Also it’d be nice to go to the Oscars.

I have friends who I can call up and say “I wanna do this thing and I was wondering if you could make it kinda like this weird feeling but also make it not weird,” and they’re like “Yep. Totally understand your language. You got it.” I have other friends who are like, “I wanna do this incredible idea for a fun web series and wondered if you’d wanna hop on the wagon? Here’s the exciting and hilarious outline I came up with,” and I’m like, “Yep. It’s an honor. You got it.”

I know people who cam make rooms of hundreds of people laugh for a solid hour by just telling jokes. I know people who can turn their pain into entertainment and make people far away from them feel connected. I know people who turn their parking tickets into an art project as a reminder that even something negative can be turned into something entertaining. I know people who are creative and hard-working attorneys, who will go to bat all hours of the day for their client no matter what the circumstance. I know people who make a simple event like signing a contract a whole 24-hour party because they know how to get the most out of life.I know people who put their life on the line in military service because they believe in serving something bigger than themselves. I know people who can edit a story to make it even more hilarious than anything that could possibly be written or filmed. I know people who I can share an idea with and will throw out three things that will inspire and invigorate me further.

And that’s not even scratching the surface.

It’s not always easy to constantly reaffirm that choosing this life in LA, this life of entertainment, and this life of project-based long-term investments is worth it. There are tough times financially, physically, and emotionally for sure.

But it’s a whole lot easier by being constantly inspired by the incredible level of warmth and creativity and talent that surround me- both near and far. (Wherever you are...)

As for the people I don’t like who are doing well… whatever. Share some success with the rest of us…assholes.

From Idea to Reality

July 2, 2014July 2, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

This week, the first Metaphysical Comedy podcast was published. And I’m really friggin excited.

I’m excited because not only is a fun and interesting show that I think will make a lot of people laugh and be entertained. But I’m also excited because it marks another of those fun journeys from concept to reality that the creative process allows.

I wanted to do an interview-style podcast where, basically, people just told me ghost stories. But then I realized that probably wouldn’t sustain itself and I still wanted to interview people who maybe hadn’t simply had ghost interactions- but just on what they believed. I got an idea for the name, Metaphysical Comedy, wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it to the cork board above my desk where lots of idea reside. Many ideas make it into some form of reality while others sit there in idea purgatory for months and years never seeing the light of day.

But this idea kept nagging.

Then I met Jose. And he and I got along splendidly. And we talked about metaphysical things. And we disagreed on them but in a delightful and entertaining way. And I finally saw how this show would pan out.

He was as enthusiastic and added some great elements and ideas you can see at our website (metaphysicalcomedyshow.com)and has been an awesome partner. We’ve been interviewing people for a couple months whenever our schedules allow. It’s been a delight to talk to friends in a different way and to learn about my own mind while learning about theirs. We finally chose a launch date (this past Monday) and now it’s a thing that’s in the universe. And will continue to be in the universe as we release each episode.

All from an idea written on a post-it note.

Keep pens and paper around to write down your ideas. It’s exhilarating to see an idea become a reality.

Also subscribe to Metaphysical Comedy and share it with your friends 🙂

Podcast Episode 65: All In – Show Notes

July 2, 2014 Briana Hansen1 Comment

Many apologies for the delay in this Femoir: The Podcast, friends! This episode, I talk having a personality that only knows how to go “All In” on something.

I talk about my upcoming web series (again), The Other Client List.

I also talk about a girl that makes me giggle like crazy. You can follow her hilarious quips on Twitter.

I talk about studying improvisation everywhere I could. Some places include The Second City Chicago, iO Chicago, The Annoyance Theater, with Gary Austin Workshops, at The People’s Improv Theater and at the Master Improv Retreat, UCB, and The Groundlings. Among other places. Like I said… a lot of friggin improv.

I also try and make reference to this Winnie The Pooh Quote. It’s a good one.

Birds of a Feather

May 5, 2014May 5, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

birds I saw two ladies at the gym the other day. They were obviously friends.

How do I know?

They were two birds of a feather.

They walked in together. They both had perky ponytails on the top of their head. They had tight black pants with colorful bottoms that matched their colorful shoes. One had a large colorful tank top that barely covered her colorful sports bra. The other just wore a colorful sports bra. They both had colorful Beats by Dre headphones they they played while they worked out. And they worked out together. Side by side. Doing basically the same exercises. At basically the same time.

It was colorfully adorable. If you’re into that thing.

I’m more of a gym loner. I prefer silently stare at people, listen to my podcasts, and live in my imagination for a while without interruption.

But mostly, I don’t have anyone to dress up all matchy matchy with me and go gymming before we (obviously) go clubbing. That’s what I assume you do if you dress up and go to the gym together. You immediately dress up in matching colorful tight dresses and high heels and go dance non-chalantly in a corner of a club.

Do clubs have corners? I don’t know. I spend my Saturday nights reading about monkeys, petting dogs, and prepping poorly thought-out blog posts.

This is getting weird. I’m gonna stop now.

Coordination Station, Clase

March 13, 2014March 13, 2014 Briana HansenLeave a comment

When I was in high school, one of my spanish teachers would always rhyme things then say “clase.” I think she’d be proud of my little rhyme in this subject line.

She always also said, “Bad news bears, clase. Bad news bears.” And she flailed her hands a lot. And we all had spanish nick-names while in class. Mine was “Chita.” She would say, “Don’t be a cheat-ah, Chita. Get it, clase? No cheat-ah, Chita.” Then she’d giggle profusely.

The more I think about it, maybe there’s a reason my spanish isn’t better…

I’ve mentioned before, I’m currently filming my web series The Other Client List. This past weekend was one of our businest filming weekends yet because we had tons of people and places I needed to coordinate. It was a bit insane. Tons of people came out of the woodwork to help in lots of different capacities.

We got the majority of our major scenes done and put ourselves in a position to essentially be finished filming the series with only one more shoot date this upcoming Saturday.Anyway, I’m not writing to tell you about Sra. Jones. I’m writing to tell you about how fun and magical it is to coordinate a ton of people.

WHOA.

Every little piece has to be in the right place, otherwise the whole project is off. And every single person you see on that screen helped screw in a little bit.This whole process has been an amazing learning experience. I have a new respect for the amount of work and organization and gumption it actually takes to make these projects a reality. I will never again leave a movie theater before the end of credits because very single one of those people was an essential part to the major production.

So screw you if you overlook them. Next time you need help, I hope you’re screwed.

So thank you to the wonderful screwballs who came to help out this weekend.I don’t hope that at all. I just wanted to use “screw” again and it seemed appropriate.

You kept us from being screwed.

…alright. I’ll stop with the “screw” words.

This is becoming pretty screwy.

(giggle giggle giggle)