Tag: future

Re-discovery of old video game gives more reason to fear pigs

Briana HansenLeave a comment

While recently perusing the internet, James Joyce stumbled upon a disturbing discovery. It turns out, there was a game created in the 1980s called “Barnyard Blast: Swine of the Night” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnyard_Blast:_Swine_of_the_Night).

Upon discovering, or rather re-discovering, this game, Joyce became further terrified of pigs. Though he used to be an avid pork-eater, he quickly changed his ways over the summer with the first case of Swine Flu (more commonly referred to now as the H1N1 virus) was discovered. The terrifying picture of the pig on this video game attacking the player aggressively did not help rectify Joyce’s ever growing fear of swine in general.

Joyce has considered having his children play the video game to reaffirm the importance of staying healthy throughout this flu season. He hopes that if he can make pigs look especially scary, they will be terrified to eat anything without washing their hands. In his mind, if a pig can shoot a gun at you as a scary mobster, imagine what they could do to your health.

Joyce wants to share his re-discovery with the world, so everyone can know the deep-seeded fear humanity has had of pigs for decades. He hopes, too, that perhaps we can examine the types of games modern society create to play and those games can shed light into possible future epidemics. Who knows.

Miley Cyrus projected to be considered attractive by 2060

Briana HansenLeave a comment

According to a recent study conducted by the Institute for Identifying Attractive People (IIAP) located in Washington, DC, Miley Cyrus will likely become traditionally attractive around the year 2060.

The IIAP has been fascinated for years by Cyrus’ status as an attractive person without having any of the traditional attractive qualities. According to the Institute, she is not traditionally “unattractive” but is considered more “completely neutral-looking” and borderline “uneasy to stare at for long period of time.” What fascinates them, however, is Miley’s status as a “good-looking” person according to millions of other people. They hypothesize that her “attractiveness” to others is likely hugely linked to her huge fame and wealthy bankroll.

These excuses for her attractiveness, however, will likely change around the year 2060. The IIAP projects that by this decade, aliens will have begun to permeate society and procreate with humanity, creating a generation of youth that have giant eyes and funky features. Society’s standards of beauty will slowly change as these so-called “freaks” begin becoming more “normal”. And that’s when Miley Cyrus will begin to fit in and be considered more traditionally “attractive.”

The IIAP admits that beauty standards are constantly transforming along with culture and society. There are some elements, however, that remain the same throughout time. Their prediction of aliens procreating with humans is the only way-they can see- that Cyrus’ look will every be considered “standard beauty.”