Doggone Relaxed

RomeoOver Thanksgiving, I had a serious boyfriend. He is the most handsome creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. His name is Romeo. Which is perfect for him because he is a love bug.

My original goals over Thanksgiving last week were to be really productive and to finish up a bunch of projects I was working on. But then I got to hang with my boyfriend Romeo.

And here’s the thing- I actually relaxed. Over a holiday. Can you imagine?

If you know anything about me, you know I LOVE work and be productive. But I also LOVE dogs. And since I have a crazy schedule at the moment, I don’t really have time for a dog. So I live vicariously through other people’s dogs. Like the perfect and sweet Romeo.

And it was actually really wonderful. We went on several walks every day. Sometimes he would come over and look at me and I would know it’s time to stop working and give him attention. And we would snuggle for long periods of time.

And I would actually relax. Like deepbreathsmilingandgigglingathiscuteness-style relax. And it was wonderful. And a real vacation. And dang… I needed it.

And yeah we took a lot of selfies. Look at him. You’d do the same and you know it.

Thank you, sweet Romeo for getting me to stop, drop, and roll around with your cuddly-cute-self. You’re my most successful romantic relationship to date.

 

Fake it to Make it

fake tanI’ve learned something this past year. It’s been a difficult lesson, but I’ve learned it daggumit.

It’s simply this: Sometimes you need to pretend that you already are what you want to become in order to convince yourself and others that you are what you believe you can become.

In other words- fake it til you make it.

Yes, it’s simple. Yes, tons of people have already written about it and talked about it. No, I’m not a revolutionary for coming up with it. But if you have any shred of midwestern humility in you, you know how difficult this can actually be.

Because you don’t want to become full of yourself. You don’t want to be ego-centric. You don’t want to lose sight of your foundation and your friends and your groundings and the reality of the situation around you.

But you do want to allow yourself to own and be proud of what you are and what you believe you can accomplish. And that, sometimes, require becoming a person you are not comfortable admitting you are.

It’s scary to push yourself beyond what you believed to be your limits. It’s scary to admit that you’re putting yourself out on the line. It’s scary to throw yourself in front of people and say “This is me! I believe in me!” People will try and tear you down. All the people on the sidelines who are too scared to become themselves will shift their attention from their own fears and put them onto you and try and tell you you’re not good enough or you can’t do what you believe you can.

But they’re wrong. You can do anything you believe you can do. And if you pretend you are something or someone and do everything in your power to convince yourself that you truly are that person, you will become it. It may take a while and will require some intense change and growing pains, but you’ll do it.

So visualize what you want to become and believe that you are that person. Live it. Breathe it. And then strap in because you’re in for a bumpy and wonderful ride.

Make It So

692fc9dd16755212_PicardMainI ran into someone famous recently. That happens in LA. Especially in Beverly Hills at swanky restaurants.

I’m usually cool about it. That’s how you gotta be out here. And I did keep my cool for the most part. But the thing is… I LOVE this man. Love. Love love love love love.

So as he got up to leave, I snuck towards the door and quietly waited to ask for a picture and say hi. Because I LOVE him and would have never forgiven myself if I didn’t at least ask. He stopped to chat with me but declined the picture which is absolutely 100% a-ok and totally understandable. He couldn’t have been sweeter about it. It was thrilling to even talk to him for a minute. He owes me nothing- especially not a picture while he’s trying to just go about his normal life.

But it did make me have  new goal. I already want to work my butt off and become a big player in the entertainment industry. BecauseI know I can. Part of me is embarrassed to admit it, let alone write about it publicly… but screw it. I want to work hard, do good work, and bring laughter and light to tons of people because I know I can.

And then one day, when I’ve done some of those things, I will get a moment to hang out with some of my idols and will get pictures with them. Maybe they’ll even want pictures with me. Who knows. But I’ll get there.

I will make it so.

 

Femoir The Podcast: Episode 68 – Show Notes

resilienceWe’re back with another Femoir: The Podcast episode- can you believe it friends? All this time! And we’re back! And it feels sooooooo good.

In this episode, I talk about Steven Pressfield and three of his most significant books (at least for me):

1. The War of Art

2. Do the Work

3. Turning Pro

I also mention National Novel Writing Month, Family Guy, Pirate’s Booty White Cheddar Puffs and Smart Puffs Wisconsin Cheddar.

We’re back. And it’s very cheesy (aaaaaahhhh- get it!?).

Constantly Recommit

commitCan I be honest with you, internet? Can I? What’s that? You’re not going to respond because you’re an abstract concept and not an actual human being? I’m making up this whole conversation in my head right now?

Ok, cool. I’ll be honest then since I know I can trust you.

I’ve been feeling a little lazy lately.

Granted, I know that my productivity levels can fluctuate greatly. I know that there are times I go through intense period of productivity. I know, too, that there are times in my life when I have the schedule and energy to really output a lot of material and other times when I just don’t have that luxury. I know that and I really do embrace it.

But I think- for various reasons- for the past month or so I’ve slowed down a bit. I’ve slowed down on getting to open mics. I’ve slowed down on my consistent writing. I’ve slowed down on spending every waking non-money-making-hour on producing creative content. Sometimes, I hang out with people I enjoy spending time with. Sometimes, I watch comedy I want to see on Netflix. Sometimes, when I’m really feeling self-indulgent, I go to the grocery store like a normal adult human being.

And while all this is fine and dandy (and what some people might call “healthy”), I realized laziness and resistance are insidious. Before you know it, you’ve slowed down or stopped completely. And while I’ve been fortunate enough to be riding a wave of momentum from my previous hardcore energy and productivity periods- so my “slowing down” hasn’t been as obvious, I need to be careful. I need to be careful I don’t become complacent. I need to make sure I’m constantly growing and challenging myself. It’s fine to continue to keep certain elements of balance that bring calmness and happiness in my life- but I need to be protective of my momentum.

I was reading a few books lately of success and productivity thanks to a close friend. What I realized in reading those is that you need to constantly recommit to whatever’s important to you. You can enjoy the fruits and labors of previous work, but you need to always be present and goal-oriented about the things that are important to you to keep them healthy. Whether that’s a relationship, a career goal, a fitness goal- whatever. You can’t just assume that you’re going to keep something going at the level and pace it was because it’s always gone at that level and pace. You need to constantly reevaluate and recommit to make sure you’re responding to the world around you and to your own gut feelings.

For me, at this period of my life, that means recommitting to some goals I have. Sure, it’s not yet New Years and this is an odd time of year to make yourself goals and really push it out since the usual momentum for all that shiz starts at the beginning of the year. But it makes no sense to wait just for waiting sake. That’s just letting laziness and resistance win. So I’ve recommitted. I’ve made specific goals for the rest of the year and am working on implementing them. I will keep pushing and not letting myself be satisfied or complacent.

I suggest you do the same.

Fit for Film

averageI’m shooting a short Western this weekend. I’m very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very (deep breath) very very very very very very very very veeeeeery excited about.

There are gonna be stunts and horses and gunfights and shenanigans. I’m stoked.

I’ve been pushing myself to get in great shape for it so I have the endurance to keep my energy all the way up all weekend long and have the body strength to make my character even more badass and awesome.

Because I don’t want anything about this project to be average. Myself included.

So push it.

I apologize for the use of this cheesy Fitspiration here. It’s too perfect for my current mindset not to use it.

My REAL Fitness Pal

bestiesI’m trying it again. If you recall, I think My Fitness Pal is a jerk. But, as I mentioned earlier in this week, I’m on a Data Diet. And because I can’t fork up the big bucks for a personal trainer or a personalized diet and fitness coach yet, I’m gonna give this asshole app another try. But this time, I’ve enlisted help from a friend.

My friend let me stay with him for Comic Con and we were lucky enough to get to hang out almost all weekend. And he got to meet Data, too. And he was as inspired to get into shape as I am. So we talked about it and decided we’d get each other’s backs and do this dumb Fitness Pal thing again.

So I made him my friend on there (the only one I have because I don’t like sharing all my information with everyone- contrary to the impression this website may give…). I can see how he’s doing and he can see how I’m doing. And because I don’t see him every day and only chat with him periodically, it could be perfect. I’m gonna assume he’s working hard at his diet and exercise and he’ll assume the same for me. And we can check in with each other’s progress on the app. And provide moral support when needed. And not let each other get away with excuses.

At least that’s the hope. We’ll see how it goes…

 

Data Diet

dataI’m going to brag for a moment. Please forgive me.

This past weekend I went to San Diego Comic Convention. And it was wonderful. And overwhelming. And I ate terrible foods and drank too much beer and had a fabulous time with friends old and new.

But one of the highlights of my trip was meeting a childhood hero of mine, Brent Spiner aka Data from Star Trek Next Generation. He was at a robotics party I went to. There was a cover charge for the party. I didn’t want to pay it. But I saw he would be there, so of course I forked it up.

And it was worth every penny.

He was kind and charming and took the time to really talk to every person who waited to see him. He didn’t just make it a photo opportunity, he made it a chance to get to know you and find out who you were. It was friggin’ delightful.

He gave me some advice. A few things, really. Most of them I’ll keep to myself because I think that’s ok to do sometimes. But he did offer me one bit of advice when it comes to being a comedic actress. He said get yourself in the best shape possible to give yourself every advantage in this career as possible. His point was essentially, if you already have a lot of things going for you (which he said I did… omg giggle giggle giggle!), it will do nothing but help you if you can be as in shape as possible. It’ll open up even more opportunities. (My friend joked with me later that “Data called you fat,” which I can understand how it may sound when I relay the story but I know that’s not at all what he meant. Or if it was, I was too many beers in to have taken it that way.)

The thing is- I completely agree with him. I talk about it sometimes in my posts. I’m in an industry that cares what you look like, so why not give yourself every advantage? Because I produce my own work, I can avoid some of the rigorous judgement. But the truth of the matter is, I want to create a career where I’m constantly producing work that people see. Which means people will see me in that work. So people will be looking at me. And I want to give them the best product possible. And the bottom line is that product should mean getting in and maintaining the best shape I possibly can.

So I told Data… I mean Brent… that I would get in great shape (right after Comic Con… because I was drinking a heavy stout beer during our chat). And I tell him about it after I did so. And he said he couldn’t wait to hear about my progress. And I giggled uncontrollably. And then we took a picture.

And I walked away promising myself I’m going on a diet starting Monday (today). And I’m calling it the Data Diet. And it might just be the most motivated I’ve ever been to get in shape in my entire life.

Thank you, Brent. Thank you, Data. Thank you, San Diego Comic Con.

I’ll keep you updated.

Flexible Goals

flexibilityI love goals. I write about and talk about them a lot.

One thing I’ve never included in the goal conversation, however, is the fact that I’ve learned to be flexible about my goals. Probably because I’ve only recently learned the value in maintaining that flexibility.

While I think it’s beneficial to really visualize what you want most in the world so that you can do everything you can to achieve it, I think it’s fair to recognize that you can’t force the world to bend to your every whim. You can create whatever reality you want, but it won’t always look exactly like what you expected.

I’ve got a thousand stories about this type of stuff. For example, I had created a goal for myself to essentially do more voiceover work. I didn’t know how I’d go about it. Within about two months after creating the goal, I found myself not only submitting my voiceover work to agents for critiquing weekly through VoiceRegistry.net, but also had landed my first animation gig on a short project. When I first pictured the goal, I saw myself standing in front of a mic with headphones on getting constant feedback from booth directors. And a little while later, that’s what I had.

It’s not exactly what I thought, but it was exactly what I asked for. So I enjoyed it, was grateful for the opportunities provided and went back to the drawing board to clarify the next thing I wanted.

I think a key to happiness is allowing yourself to see the good and not being blinded by only seeing one fixed outcome. So you want the love of your life to show up and sweep you off your feet? Awesome. That’ll likely happen. And it’ll likely come along with some conditions you didn’t see coming. So do you say, “Screw you, Universe! That’s not what I meant!” and throw away a perfectly wonderful opportunity. Or do you say, “Sweet. Let’s see what the heck happens in this…” and figure it out as you go along.

If you’re so obsessed with the outcome looking exactly like you expected, you’re setting yourself up for perpetual disappointment. Maybe the outcome you’re obsessed with isn’t what will actually serve you best. Maybe by missing out on that one opportunity, the universe is leaving you open and available to the life-changing one around the corner. But ending that relationship, it’s making room for the more amazing one that’s waiting behind the corner. By having you “fail” in one area, it’s lighting a fire under you that will fuel your motivation to do even more. And in that motivation, you end up creating three projects that will launch your career. Maybe by hitting that red light you don’t get side-swiped by the person who’s going to run the red two lights down from now.

I don’t know about you,  but I know when I set a goal or have any specific outcome I desire, I allow myself to visualize it as best I can and let the universe fill in the rest. And as long as I’m listening to my gut and living in perpetual gratitude for the good and the bad shiz thrown my way, I think I’m doing alright. Or as they’d say in the hood, “aiiite.”

Podcast Episode 67: Balance – Show Notes

elephant-balanceThe biggest takeaway from this Femoir: The Podcast episode, friends, is that finding balance is a journey not a destination.

I mention my day job. I work at the most fun Law Office in existence. I’m a lucky lady.

I talk about working out. If you read this blog, you know that I do that a lot anyway.

I also mention counting calories. I’ve written about how much I hate it before. I still hate it.

I mention the “All In” previous Femoir podcast, too.