It’s the Journey

journeyForgive me in advance for the lack of details on this post. I want to convey the idea behind it without relaying every detail of my personal life. Believe it or not, I can actually be private about my personal life when I want to be (and I usually want to be).

But here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. Just like that cheesy (but very true) saying “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime,” I think some creative projects can be the same way. Every project you do may or may not have a lasting result (if it’s ever even completed). But you can always learn something and improve as a result of doing it.

I did a project not long ago. I came up with an idea, called together a crew of people to help me make it a reality, invested a lot of time and money into its creation, and was pretty proud of the result.

Then some things happened. And it made me not want to do the project anymore, despite the fact that I had a bunch of things ready to show the world. I just didn’t have the heart to continue investing anymore time and energy into something that had so fundamentally changed in me. The (excellent) quality of the product remains the same. And that’s the hardest part to deal with. I really want to continue with it, but I just no longer believe in it. I don’t have it in me. I have to step away. I’ll be a healthier, happier person if I just let it go and open myself up to the next great thing rather than try and fix something that I know is broken and no longer serves me.

And it took me a while to come to terms with that. But once I did, I realized that the creation of the project- even though it didn’t last very long in reality- was the important part. I will always have the memories and friendships I made while working on the project. I will always have the stuff to enjoy myself and be reminded of my own work and lessons learned about it. I will always have the memories made each step of the way.

So don’t worry about the outcome, friends. Never stop creating. And don’t you ever stop believin’.

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Episode 61: Patience – Show Notes

patienceThe latest episode of Femoir: The Podcast is a longer one, friends, but since we’re talking about patience, I hope you take the time to listen to it and enjoy!

I talk about the three major improv and comedy theaters in Chicago:

1. The Second City

2. iO (Improv Olympic)

3. The Annoyance

I mention the stage version of my solo show, Femoir.

I also mention my wonderful pending web series, The Other Client List, again. I am very excited about it. It’s gonna be gooooooood.

And I also mention my crazy peg leg pirate upstairs neighbor (again) and the fact that SHE BANGS!

As always, you can subscribe to these for free on iTunes!

It’s over

sad heartIt’s been almost a month since I last wrote about my gym boyfriend. When I wrote about it then, we hadn’t seen each other in quite some time.

As of today, I still haven’t seen him.

So I’m calling it. It’s over. I can’t even start obsessing over my rebound fling guy because I haven’t seen him, either. And there are no other guys at the gym who tickle my fancy. So I guess it’s over. I’m gym single. I’ll have to just go back to focusing on my workout and not giggling and pretending to stretch in the corner. Ugh.

Maybe they got cold feet. Maybe they really felt the connection between us and got by the intensity of our (my) eye contact. Maybe they just stopped working out. Or maybe they somehow found this blog and moved far far away from LA.

Whatever the reasoning, I’ve decided to let it go. Move on. You’ve gotta get rid of the old stuff in your life if you want to make room for the new. I’m not expecting a gym superhero to show up (my old gym boyfriend looked like Superman…). I’m just accepting that it’s over. And I’ll move on.

Maybe I’ll even start real relationships with actual people that I speak full sentences to.

I dunno. That seems like a lot of work and I don’t want to further stress myself during this already difficult time.

Gym Single

heartbreakI need you guys to help me get through this.

For those of you following my gym love saga (catch up by reading this and this), you know I’ve been in love with a man I never spoke to. My dear, sweet, silent gym boyfriend.

I realized this morning… it’s been months since I’ve seen either my gym boyfriend or my weekend gym fling. I don’t know what happened.

It must be me. I’ve changed. Like, literally… I changed gyms I went to in the morning because of traffic.

I thought my gym boyfriend would follow me back to the gym we originally met at. He didn’t.

Does that mean it’s over?

I’m not gonna give up on this without a fight, guys. Meaning my new gym is back up and running and charging 50 cents every day for parking. Which adds up and makes it not worth it (at that price I might as well upgrade my monthly rate and get access to the ritzy Beverly Hills gym down the street…).  So I think I’m going to switch back to the other gym. The parking is a little more stressful in the morning, but at least it’s free. And I have to make sure I’m there early to avoid traffic.

But all that’s worth it. Because I think that’s where my gym boyfriend has continued to workout. And I miss him.

I’m not ready to give up on us, guys. Not yet.

I’m switching starting next week. I’ll keep you updated. I know so many of you are very worried. Thank you for your concern. Let’s all just be strong and get through this together.

13 Signs He’s Not Good Enough For You

This year has been a roller coaster for me and many of my very close girlfriends in the world of romance. In an effort to add a small sliver of advice for women about my own experience in finding “Mr. Right,” I give you yet another list of things to think about in your search. Enjoy.

1. He makes you feel bad at any point before, during, or after your first date.

It doesn’t get any better than the first 24 hours before and after meeting someone. If you felt even a little bad then, it’s only gonna get worse.

Drop him like it’s hooooooooot.

2. He seems like a loser.

That’s because he probably is.

Find a winner.

3. He’s boring.

What would you rather do, hang out with a boring dude that makes you want to stick icicles in your eyes to prove you can still feel or watch Netflix by yourself in your sweats? Netflix every time, baby.

Grab the ice cream, cheap beer and your fat pants. You’re about to have the happiest night of your life.

4. You think you’re better than him.

That’s because you probably are. You should respect your significant other as an equal. If he doesn’t earn that respect, get rid of him.

Sorry. No time to date you. Too busy being way more awesome than you.

5. He thinks he’s better than you.

Gross. He’s gonna act like he’s doing you a favor by dating you. Do yourself a favor and dump his ass.

I can’t go out tonight or ever again. I’m too busy doing anything else.

6. Your friends unanimously agree he’s not good enough for you.

That’s because he’s not. Your friends love you and want you to be happy. They’ve seen you at your highest and your lowest. They were there before this guy, they’ll be there after this guy. If they don’t like him, it’s for a very good reason.

Neeeeeeeeeeeeext. 

7. He’s shitty to the other women in his life.

He talks poorly to his momma? He’s condescending to his sister? And… you think he’s gonna be nice to you? Yeah. Right. Good luck with that.

If this were Tinder, I would swipe you to the left in a heartbeat.

8. He doesn’t have his shit together.

You can’t fix that. Don’t fall in love with the potential. You’ll waste your time and energy wanting him to be better and he’ll resent you for wanting him to change. Let him go and get it together. If he’s lucky, he can do it and you may consider giving it another shot. More likely, you let him go and three weeks later meet someone who has his shit together who’s absolutely awesome in every way. And shitless guy misses out. And that’s life.

I’d rather have a guy who thinks his shit doesn’t stink than a guy who doesn’t even know where his shit is.

9. You argue all the time.

That’s probably because you don’t have anything worthwhile to actually communicate about. Likely because of #3 above. No matter what the reason, find someone who enjoys much more pleasant activities than arguing.

That’s an A and B relationship so you should C your way out of it.

10. He talks about himself nonstop.

You’re not that great. Stop. Tell me about your projects and your passions and your ideas. And then ask me about mine. And then let’s both shut up. Deal? Deal.

Blah blah blah I’m bored bored bored.

11. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.

That’s because he either doesn’t have any or he’s trying to hide you for some reason. If you’ve been dating for a long time and you’re never invited when he’s hanging out with his friends casually, move on. He’s a jerk who’s hiding something. Find someone who will be proud and excited to show you off.

This one hits a little too close to home for me to have a hilarious quip.

12. He’s passive aggressive.

Here’s the only time I will ever put up with passive aggression: When my husband has had a long and stressful day earning money to help support our beautiful family and he’s exhausted and stressed and I, unknowingly, push a button that makes him accidentally snap at me passive aggressively. I will bite my tongue and let it slide. But we will discuss later when he’s feeling better. And we will both apologize. And that’s it. Otherwise, just tell me how you feel. Don’t beat around the bush, manipulate, or belittle me.

Plenty of fish in the sea who won’t be passively fishy to you.

13. He says he isn’t good enough for you.

That’s because he’s not.

Find someone who is.

Relationship ended prematurely because of poor cellphone reception

On a cellphone call last Friday, Chaz Grand and Ginny Loren encountered some serious problems. The now former couple, who had been dating for several months, were discussing that evening’s plans. Ginny, who was already beginning to feel like Chaz wasn’t showing her enough affection, ended the conversation with an, “I love you.”

Unfortunately for both of them, the cellphone reception was extremely poor between them and, according to Chaz, he did not hear the “I love you,” so he could not respond. For Ginny, this was the last straw in a slew of problems between the two of them. She assumed he had refused to say it back and that he had hung up the phone. And she ended things between them.

After attempting to call Ginny back several times, Chaz became disheartened and waited for her that evening at their date spot. Ginny never showed.

“The disrespect he showed me on the phone that day was too much for me to handle,” Ginny explains. “He was always doing little things like that and I grew sick of it.”

Chaz was heartbroken. “I just wish we could have talked about it… face to face. She knows I have ATT. I can’t help it.”

Will Ginny find it in her heart to forgive Chaz for his poor choices in phone carriers? Only time will tell.