Fluctuation Station

scaleI can’t tell you the number of times people tell me “You look like you’ve lost weight!” I’ve written about it before.

It’s a nice thing to say. I’m not complaining about it. If you’ve said it, keep saying it. Not a bad thing for a lady to hear.

But the truth is I fluctuate. Because I’m a human being. And humans fluctuate.

I have a range of about 5-6 lbs that I flow between. When I’m really good about my diet and exercise, I get on the low end. When my schedule (and stress) picks up, it goes on the high end. And unless I eat really out of the ordinary- tons of food and calories for a long time or really restricting myself for a long time- I don’t change much. Even with all the exercise.

I’ve just learned to accept it and appreciate that my body likes to be at a certain number. Yes, I could really restrict and get myself down. I understand that there’s always room for improvement. But I don’t get mad at my body for not easily getting below that range even when I work at it. Why? Because I appreciate that it doesn’t go above the top of the range, even when I’m really negligent about my diet and exercise. It works both ways.

When I’m more consistent at the gym, I do notice a difference in my body both in the way it feels and looks. And that’s the reward for me. The scale is helpful as a once-in-a-while tool just to give a litmus test on where exactly we are in the range, but it’s not much more than that.

This is especially true as a woman because my weight naturally fluctuates depending on numerous factors. So I can’t get too upset if it changes all that much. So I don’t.

Instead I get upset that I cannot, for the life of me, figure how how much time to put on the microwave so my steel cut oats in the morning are actually cooked but don’t boil over and spill all over the microwave. Because they do that almost daily. And that shit drives me BONKERS.

But not the scale. That ain’t worth it.

Yeah. Imma end this blog with an ain’t. Been too darn tootin’ long since I wrote withah southern ax-ent. So here y’all go.

Darn tootin’.

“You look like you’ve lost weight”

I’m a person who others remember as fatter than they actually are. I’ve been around the same weight for years. I was a little bigger in college, but after college I’ve pretty much plateaued in a certain range.

But it never fails that I see someone I haven’t seen in a while and they always say, “You look like you’ve lost weight.” And I’m not gonna be the asshole that pretends I don’t like hearing that- who wouldn’t? The problem is, I’ve heard it so many times in my life, often in times when I haven’t made any physical changes at all, it’s lost some of its impact.

Years ago, I came to term with the fact that people remember me as fatter than I actually am. And that’s just how it is.

So unfortunately, I’m difficult to compliment in this realm because I’ve heard it so many times that when I actually do feel like I’ve made positive physical changes in my body, they’re so subtle nobody except me would notice. They consist of fitting into certain pants better than usual or noticing more muscle and less fat on a certain part of my body.

Truth be told, I’m actually noticing some of those changes in my body right now after lifting so much. My arms look a little more cut and my abs are getting strong. But they are small, almostĀ unnoticeableĀ changes. And my weight hasn’t really changed for it’s usual spot at all. So as much as I appreciate hearing “You look like you’ve lost weight,” I really haven’t yet, folks. You just remember me fatter.

But when I do see major changes, I’ll post before and after pics. That’s a promise (if it ever happens…)

The Chipper

Once in a while, I get to go to a personal trainer. Long story short, it’s a sweet deal and I’m always grateful and excited when I get the chance to go.

Today was one of those days. We started with this series my trainer referred to as “The Chipper.” It sounds innocent enough, but it makes you feel like your body just went through a wood chipper.

I plowed through with all my heart. I had to take some serious rest breaks between and even during the exercises once or twice. I let out a few cuss words while doing the repetitions and I had to dig deep. When I was done, my trainer told me I did a great job. He said he’s been having all his clients do “the Chipper” and very few have done it as quickly as I did.

I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I COULD GO SLOWER! I just took breaks when he told me to and started up again when he told me. I COULD HAVE GONE SLOWER?!

My reward for such great work? We did another intense 40 minutes of strength training. He emphasized during the strength training to rest up in between sets because he said he wanted me to go all out so I would feel it the next day.

I’m writing this post the same day, because I’m afraid even my fingers will be sore from that workout tomorrow.

In other news, I have a hint of abs trying to sneak through my stomach. Just a hint. Still exciting.