Just Delegate It

just-do-it-1I’m good at a lot of things. I’m excellent at creativity. I have a comedic mind. I love writing. I’m organized. I’m great at talking to people. I like turning ideas into reality. I’m pretty great at blogging consistently. And, I’ve just discovered in writing this, I’m also adept at finding things I’m good about that I can write about in blog posts.

But we all have our weaknesses. I’ve realized as I’ve become stronger at my strengths, and worked on turning some of my weaknesses into strengths, that you just can’t do everything.

I also realized this when I literally ran out of time consistently to do everything I want to do.

So what do you do to still be productive?


I can be a bit of a Type-A. So I’m not good with delegation. I just want to get it done and I want it done right. And oftentimes, people don’t do it right. Or I feel like in the time it took me to explain how it should be done, I could have just done it myself.

But what I’ve realized is you have to let people help you. There’s a huge strength in admitting you’re not good at something and letting someone help out.

When I was shooting my web series, The Other Client List, people asked me if I was directing, too. I was like, “Hell no I don’t know how to do that.” And as a result, we found a wonderful and magical director, Erik Boccio, who got together an amazing production team and helped us make this idea a reality. He’s an expert. He made every shot look amazing, brought out the best in our performances, and kept us moving along through the script.

When we were midway through filming, we started thinking about an editor. I had no idea who I was going to get or how. I started thinking I may just have to teach myself to edit it. Luckily, I reached out and somehow lucked into an amazing editor in Glen Montgomery. There is no way I could have done an ounce of magic he’s doing with our series. He’s an expert. He’s freaking amazing.

Glen mentioned we need to think of sound. Somehow we lucked into finding more talent willing to help out with this project in the incredible musician Rick Wright of Subtidal Studios. I cannot do what he does. He’s so talented. It’s his field. It’s what he’s good at.

There’s tons more people on board with this team who are making it a reality. And this is only one project. And a few examples of the incredible work going into this project.

My point is this- I can’t do it all. There’s no way. Adding people to the project only strengthens it. I admitted I need help. And the help came-a-runnin’. And I’m so grateful for it. And have learned a valuable lesson.

Step away from the project, Briana. Let the experts do their jobs.


Comic Book Nerds Aren’t The Only Nerds

In case you’re just joining this blog, I want to be clear about something. I like comics. I wrote a whole blog about how I’m getting really into comics and graphic novels here.

But I’ve started noticing a trend in popular culture where people embrace their so-called nerdiness and brag about how much they know about comics and comic worlds. And it seems like the more you know about them, the more “nerdy” you are therefore, in some strange, sick logic, the “cooler” you become.

Sure. People who are really into comics could be considered nerdy. Great. Yeah. I buy it.

But I want to make something very, very clear. They are not the only nerdy people in this world.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve also embraced my nerdiness. But it seems like I’m somehow a lesser sub-species of nerd because I wasn’t into comic books when I was growing up.

So let’s clear up one thing… Comic book nerds are not the only kind of nerds in the kingdom.


This is me. When I was 10 or 11ish.

Now let me tell you a little about this girl.

First of all, she didn’t read comic books. In this picture, she is proudly showing you how she is practicing percussion for band. She played Alto Saxophone, piano, and took guitar lessons. Here, she is practicing percussion because she wanted to get better at rhythm in order to help her saxophone playing. She did this for fun.

Also in this picture, you’ll see some sweet glasses. They are not fashionable. they broke midway through 4th grade. She didn’t want to get new ones, so she taped them. She taped her glasses. And thought nothing of it. Moving on…

Check out the shoes. They are a size 9. She has not yet had her (albeit minimal) growth spurt. She is shaped like an L. Rather than minimize the large feet, she is wearing comfortable tennis shoes with a zebra pattern. These are her favorite shoes. They make her feet look twice and big. She doesn’t care.

She wears those shoes with mis-matched socks which she has done since she was 5. She continues to deliberately wear mis-matched socks until high school. She doesn’t care what you think of it. She does it because she figures in case you lose a sock and it’s your favorite, you can still wear at least one of them for a while. That is her thought process.

She has a blue knitted vest on. She loves that vest. She wears it all the freaking time.

She has an over-sized Pacers hat on. She doesn’t really care for the Pacers, but felt a hat really finished off the outfit.

Next to her is a book. Could be any book because she likes to read for fun. It’s likely a music book, though because she wants to practice so that she can show her teacher how much she has improved because she wants her teacher to like her best because she is an over-achiever and a suck up. She is first chair saxophone (meaning she’s deemed ‘the best’ at the instrument) and wants to be first chair of all the instruments she plays (even though this is physically impossible) She is this way in all her classes- not just music. She doesn’t care what you think of it.

She sits in the front of her classes because she wants the best view of the chalkboard. She can’t fathom not actually completing the homework assignment. She doesn’t understand why her classmates don’t also raise their hands immediately when the teacher asks for a volunteer for anything.

She doesn’t understand the difference between voluntary and mandatory assignments. She understands the words meanings, of course, because she does her homework- but she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t do something that was suggested because it could improve your learning. She does all the required and not required assignments. And she’s got no problem with it.

Her best friend is as smart and capable as her. The two of them have physical and mental competitions constantly. In sports, they’re always the two best players on the team. In academics, her best friend is better at some stuff, she’s better at other things. They like to challenge each other and both like having another over-achiever around. For them it’s normal achieving. Nothing out of the ordinary.

This girl has two favorite computer games. One is Mario Teaches Typing, where you play typing games to improve your typing skills. And the other is a Mozart game where you learn about music. The hardest level in the Mozart game is when you have to put one of Mozart’s great symphony’s back into order from small pieces. She’s pretty freaking good at both of these games.

This girl was me. And I’m damn proud of it.

There is plenty more where this came from, too.

No, I didn’t read comic books. But I hope we can all agree at this point that comic book nerds aren’t the only type of nerds in the kingdom.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Westside…

I got in a shuttle in LAX headed home from a weekend at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival in Texas (with TMI, not Femoir… though the show will hopefully be back on stages again very soon!). I got talking to the woman I was sharing a shuttle with. We started talking Lil Wayne because she was headed to his concert. I started talking about how much I love Lil Wayne.

For those of you just joining us, every podcast episode since January of this year has begun with a rap song. I love rap. My favorite artist right now is Lil Wayne. I think he’s extremely innovative and exciting. I listen to him at work when everyone else is gone. I blare the speakers and take in everything he says. He’s a master at mixing killer beats with really creative lyrics. I love him.

I listen to a Lil Wayne song to wake me up in the morning. I listen to a different Lil Wayne song when I need to really get pumped to work out. I listen to a different Lil Wayne song when I want to relax. I love him.

One of the nicknames I gave my new car is Weezy because it’s little and black and totally fierce. I love Lil Wayne. Have I mentioned that? Because I do.

Anyway, because this woman mentioned Lil Wayne, we obviously got talking about hip hop. Turns out, she’s an artist and had produced a couple videos and a bunch of songs. Which is funny because… ahem… yours truly is also an artist who’s produced a couple videos and a bunch of songs. So we showed each other some of our work and gave each other feedback.

She inspired me to bring back my B-Eazy personality (@BEazyHipHop on Twitter) that has been dormant since I left Chicago. That chick is fierce. She needs to come alive again.

So me and my new hip hop friend from Brooklyn talked for the entire shuttle ride about music and creating and art. The other two women who were headed to Brentwood and Malibu (ritzy areas, y’all) weren’t sure what to do with us. So they kept quiet and stared out the window without saying a word.

I made a new friend. A new music friend! And, thanks to Femoir: The Podcast (and especially the latest SPECIAL RAP COMPILATION episode), I had 40 minutes worth of hip hop beats to share with my new friend. We made it through about five of them. But that’s five more than I had last year!

Here’s my new friend’s latest beat. Her name is JL Moreau. She and I got it turnted up, y’all. Which I think is a good thing. I’m still learning!

Speaking of, I need to send her an email. Maybe we’ll go to a Lil Wayne concert together! You never know!


Justin Beiber music video shoot takes three days longer than expected due to uncooperative hair

Young pop sensation Justin Beiber has won a lot of teenybopper hearts with his literal boyish charm and generic good looks. Perhaps what sets Beiber apart from so many other boys his age, and what sets the hearts of his fan’s on fire, is his meticulously side-swept dirty blonde hair.

In every music video the young star creates, his hair seems to steal the show. During the filming of his latest video “Baby”, a duet featuring hip hop artist Ludacris, Bieber’s hair was being rather uncooperative.

Rather than simply staying on whatever side it had been carefully combed to, the hair would-on occasion- fall in the star’s face making him look more like your average emo teenager than the rising pop icon he is. Every time the hair became unruly, all filming and production had to stop in order to attempt to tame it.

One of the eight stylists on set to take care of Beiber, suggested a different cut for the young star. When everyone became silent and stared him down, he smiled uncomfortable and suggested maybe they just even it out so it’s not such a pain to work with.

The stylist was fired on the spot.

Though the shoot took three days longer than expected, Beiber’s hair managed to remain in the perfect positioning throughout the shots in the video, often defying gravity and keeping itself parallel to the ground while sitting on his head.

Beiber personally declined to comment because he was fully engrossed in his afternoon nap while this story was being written. His publicist said simply, “It’s very important for a boy his age to get plenty of sleep in the afternoon. He’s still growing, after all.”

After purchasing her first Miley Cyrus song, woman dies a little inside

Though there was a part of Paula Frenner that knew it would be inevitable to hold off from some day purchasing a song by the Hannah Montana star she loathed, but she had no idea the day would come so soon.

The sun shone brightly on that Spring day as Frenner scrambled to put together a presentation for the next day’s board meeting. In her presentation, she was to show she was still connected to youth culture-specifically young girls. In this interactive presentation, she needed a song to seem connected…and she knew turned to the dark side.

“I didn’t know where else to turn,” Frenner explains, almost crying. “I knew Miley Cyrus would make me seem hip and cool…but…” Frenner began to trail off, seemingly lost in her own sorrow.

The song, “Rockstar” by Cyrus, cost Frenner $1.29. Monetarily, it was not a huge hit. Her soul and dignity, however, continue to struggle with the decision.

“I feel like a part of me, the feisty flame I often felt when looking down upon fans of the untalented entertainer, has extinguished,” she explains. “I just don’t know where to go from here.”

Frenner claims the board presentation went well, and her managers seemed impressed. Nobody, however, commented on her song choice which has made her since wonder if they even noticed and if she could have saved herself the trouble. It’s a thought that she has to immediate dismiss as soon as it arises because it keeps her from sleeping at night.

Several parties waiting for singer Ke$ha to walk in so they can begin

Pop sensation Ke$ha’s number one hit has had an impact on social lives everywhere, beyond simply giving a good beat to dance to while out on a weekend night.

In the song, she claims that “the party don’t start til I walk in.” Many of her fans and party-goers across the nation have taken her words, yet again, to heart. Thousands of parties have been put on hold, waiting for the young blonde to walk in so they can begin.

The phenomenon has been inconvenient to many college parties, but it is simply devastating to a number of wedding receptions that have been sitting and waiting awkwardly but patiently for Ke$ha to allow the party to begin.

Take the Gerstein wedding. Rachel and Mark Gerstein, a happily newly wedded couple, had everything go perfectly for their long-planned ceremony. That is, until they hit the reception. Both husband and wife are big fans of Ke$ha’s pop hit, and knew better than to attempt to begin a party before she walked in. So they sat. And their guests sat. They assumed that Ke$ha would know where the party was and would simply gravitate to it.

The result was a long and uncomfortable pause filled with silence and anticipation.

Ke$ha never came.

“We eventually had to attempt to begin the party without her,” Rachel Gerstein said. “Nobody really knew how.”

The Gersteins are simply one case out of thousands who have been stood up by the pop singer while waiting to begin a party. It is believed that the phenomenon will continue as long as Ke$ha’s song gets air time.

Haitians grateful for American pop singers’ “Help for Haiti” music to help them while cleaning up dead bodies

After the disastrous earthquake attacked Haiti recently, destroying much of the country and killing hundreds of thousands, American pop musicians did everything they could to help out. They sang their pop hits and created a compilation CD of their hits and gave profits to help with disaster relief.

While many are applauding their effort, some critics accuse the celebrities of not doing enough. Harrison Wyley, a local man who has donated a lot of money to Haitian relief, is not impressed by the singers’ showy efforts. He claims, “If I have $10, and somebody needs help, and I raise $100 for them by doing my job, I can feel pretty good about what I’ve done…but I still have $10. I haven’t given anything of myself to them.” For Wyley, a parallel situation is happening with the pop singers and Haiti relief efforts. Only multiplied by a million.

Haitians themselves are grateful for the songs. They claim hearing American pop music specifically geared or lyrically changed to highlight Haiti makes a day of cleaning up dead bodies fly by much faster.

Pop singer Ke$ha diagnosed with multiple cavities from brushing her teeth “with a bottle of Jack”

Though pop singer Ke$ha’s hit single “Tik Tok” has put the young artist on the music map, her poor hygiene habits have put numerous cavities in her mouth.

In her debut song, the singer admits that, “before I leave/ brush my teeth/ with a bottle of Jack”. The heart-felt lyrics, though delivered superfluously, are tremendously important to understanding the singer’s condition.

Dr. Ray Cartier, her childhood dentist, claims he doesn’t know where her lack of care for her teeth stemmed from. “As a child, I always told Ke$ha how important it was to brush her teeth with proper toothpaste and floss twice a day,” he says, “She seems to only remember that it’s important to brush, not what to brush with.”

Cartier and other dental experts appalled by the lyrics agree that there is no question as to why she has numerous cavities. They agree that a night of drinking alone can wreak havoc on healthy teeth between the alcohol and sugar that are consumed. Let alone attempting to brush your teeth with Jack Daniels Whiskey in the morning.

Because of the money Ke$ha has made from her hit single, she will have access to the proper medical and dental care to improve her teeth and overall hygiene situation. The fear for many experts is the far-reaching implications her lyrics may have on younger generations.

“It’d be good if Ke$ha could explain herself,” Dr. Cartier says. “Let her cavities be an example of a path little girls who look up to her don’t want to take. She could be a real role model in the dental community.”

Ke$ha was too drunk to coherently comment on the situation.

Britney Spears promises next song will not have sexual undertones

After a slew of songs that are all based around one single message and theme-sexuality-Britney Spears has promised to reinvent herself yet again. She claims to want to appear wholesome to the American public again, and to send a positive message to the millions of young girls who listen to her music and support her career.

The change came about after Spears’ latest hit singles, “If U Seek Amy” and “3”, barely try to hide anymore that her underlying message is sexual. These songs parallel her stage outfits which also barely try to hide, well, anything on her body.

Spears’ claims to have realized that she is in a position of influence on American culture and wants to use her power to make good. She says next time she’s in the recording studio repeating a few lines over and over to a techno beat background, she will attempt for those lines to be wholesome. Or at least neutral. No sexuality at all.

With Spears’ celebrity power and the millions of dollars she commands every performance, it could mark an incredible shift music industry standards.