First run in a long time.

I did it. Back in the saddle. Thanks to this blog, I went for a run. I felt like I had to please all the readers.* And I went.

I ran for a whopping twenty minutes. Twenty. 20. It takes me longer to remember how to properly spell the word “twenty” than it did for me to run that long. Yet I was exhausted. I’m so out of running shape it’s not disgusting. Just a few months ago, I could run for two hours. It wasn’t really pleasant and I wouldn’t say it ever got easy, but I certainly could do it. Tonight I looked at my clock seven times in twenty minutes, begging for it to stop.

The worst part of running again after a hiatus is that you still in some weird way consider yourself a runner. But then when you actually run, your body goes through an identity crisis. The first few minutes it’s like “Oh yeah, I remember this! This feels great!” and then moments later, “Holy shit make it stop why are we doing this- I don’t remember how to do this?!?!?!”

Oy. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

*So far I have no readers. (wah waaaaaah)

We’re doing this.

Alright. Here’s the deal. I’m gonna start working out again to achieve the best body I can. Why? Because I’m vain and I work in an industry where looks matter.

I want to get strong, lean, and look like a badass. But not a body-builder woman, just a badass. Like, when you google “athletic hot chick,” I’m the first thing to come up. Which could be an SEO issue, but you get me.

I took my measurements this morning. Everything except my weight (arguably the most important weight-loss measurement, I realize). But won’t have a scale for a couple weeks so everybody just get over it.

I took pictures this morning. I’m gonna do that every day. You won’t see them until I’ve made progress. Why? See sentence three of the first paragraph. Vanity. I won’t let you see it until I’m satisfied.

What I will do, however, is post my workouts and personal reactions here. Along with some vlogs and other pics and whatnot. Everything will be honest and from the heart. And hopefully, on occasion, from the ass, too, because I’ve got plenty of that body part to spare at the moment.

I’m not trying to inspire people. Those blogs already exist. If you want to hear about people losing tons of weight and turning their lives around, go elsewhere. There are lots of those.

I am trying to entertain through pain. I workout a little bit right now. I have a pretty stable body and eat pretty well. All in all average. And now I want an above-average body and that’s gonna require a lot of work.

Join me as I complain about it every step of the way.