A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Westside…

I got in a shuttle in LAX headed home from a weekend at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival in Texas (with TMI, not Femoir… though the show will hopefully be back on stages again very soon!). I got talking to the woman I was sharing a shuttle with. We started talking Lil Wayne because she was headed to his concert. I started talking about how much I love Lil Wayne.

For those of you just joining us, every podcast episode since January of this year has begun with a rap song. I love rap. My favorite artist right now is Lil Wayne. I think he’s extremely innovative and exciting. I listen to him at work when everyone else is gone. I blare the speakers and take in everything he says. He’s a master at mixing killer beats with really creative lyrics. I love him.

I listen to a Lil Wayne song to wake me up in the morning. I listen to a different Lil Wayne song when I need to really get pumped to work out. I listen to a different Lil Wayne song when I want to relax. I love him.

One of the nicknames I gave my new car is Weezy because it’s little and black and totally fierce. I love Lil Wayne. Have I mentioned that? Because I do.

Anyway, because this woman mentioned Lil Wayne, we obviously got talking about hip hop. Turns out, she’s an artist and had produced a couple videos and a bunch of songs. Which is funny because… ahem… yours truly is also an artist who’s produced a couple videos and a bunch of songs. So we showed each other some of our work and gave each other feedback.

She inspired me to bring back my B-Eazy personality (@BEazyHipHop on Twitter) that has been dormant since I left Chicago. That chick is fierce. She needs to come alive again.

So me and my new hip hop friend from Brooklyn talked for the entire shuttle ride about music and creating and art. The other two women who were headed to Brentwood and Malibu (ritzy areas, y’all) weren’t sure what to do with us. So they kept quiet and stared out the window without saying a word.

I made a new friend. A new music friend! And, thanks to Femoir: The Podcast (and especially the latest SPECIAL RAP COMPILATION episode), I had 40 minutes worth of hip hop beats to share with my new friend. We made it through about five of them. But that’s five more than I had last year!

Here’s my new friend’s latest beat. Her name is JL Moreau. She and I got it turnted up, y’all. Which I think is a good thing. I’m still learning!

Speaking of, I need to send her an email. Maybe we’ll go to a Lil Wayne concert together! You never know!

Friends!

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Narcissism or Pride?

For once, an episode of Femoir: The Podcast is ready in advance. It’s all I can do not to publish it early because I’m really excited about it. It’s the “Special Rap Episode” and is just a compilation of all the rap songs I’ve written for every theme on the podcast ever since I started writing rap for the podcast. There are 14 altogether plus a bonus 15th at the very end!

I’ve listened to it several times. Like…several times. I listen to it instead of other people’s podcasts. I have over 100 podcast episodes I could listen to right now from other sources. I listen to my own reruns on repeat.

That’s so weird.

I guess I just get excited and I like to hear it and it makes me remember what I was thinking when I was writing or recording or editing it. And they’re just entertaining. But since it’s my own work, I can’t decide if I’m just proud of it or if it’s just extremely narcissistic.

When the episode is release on August 28… maybe you could listen yourself and let me know.

Gotta go now. It’s been ten minutes since I listened to the sound of my own voice. Gotta fix it.

Autobiographical Rap

Friends…

Most of you know the rap at the beginning of each “Femoir: The Podcast” has become one of my favorite parts of the podcast. And this upcoming one is not different.

The next rap for the “Down and Out” themed podcast is autobiographical! Sure, it’s a little exaggerated, but so is anything worth listening to, amiright?

And it might actually be out on time for the first time in months.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?

Lil Wayne’s small stature redefined which rappers allowed to use “shorty” in their rhymes

For years, rap and hip hop artists have been using the term “shorty” as one of endearment to specify a woman. The term plays off the stereotypes of women typically being shorter than men. It is one of the easiest, most consistent, distinguishing factors for artists to call upon and use in their rhymes.

Lil Wayne, however, is only 5’6”, making him the average height of a woman and significantly shorter than the average height of a man. Though sources have not confirmed it, the “Lil” part of his name likely recognizes this stature difference.

The rapper, however, has consistently used the term “shorty” in his songs to describe different women. He, of course, has more flowery and specific descriptions of all sorts of areas of a woman’s body, but “shorty” remains his go-to term for women.

Because of the discrepancy in his height and the average height of the women models he raps about-especially once those models put on high heels-there has been a bit of controversy as to whether or not he could effectively use the term “shorty”. Lil Wayne, however, has persevered despite it and continues to use the term. Thanks to great camera angles and special effects in his videos, too, he usually appears taller than the women who surround him.

Many directors who work with Lil Wayne in shooting the videos have professional expertise with correcting height problems through working with other famous height-challenged actors like Tom Cruise, Billy Crystal, and E.T.

As long as Lil Wayne continues to pump out hit after hit, he seems to be allowed to get away with any inaccurate vocabulary choices he wants.

Lil’ Wayne first and only straight male to ever want to do ‘every girl in the world’

In his popular hit “Every Girl” Lil’ Wayne makes some groundbreaking claims. His lyrics flow from complimenting his own talents to complimenting women’s bodies and discussing what he’d like to do to them.

During this song, he claims that he would like to be intimate with every girl in the world. This claim is very refreshing to many women in the world who have become so accustomed to straight men wanting nothing more than their friendship and company.

“It’s nice to finally have someone want to have a physical relationship with me,” says Tamara, a 23-year-old single straight woman in Milwaukee. She added, “So many guys come up to me at bars and just want to chat and be friends. I want someone who sees me as nothing more then a body and a possible late-night conquest. Is that so much to ask?”

Tamara’s sentiments ring true for many straight women across the nation who can’t wait for men to finally see them as the sex object they truly are. She and many others are grateful to Lil’ Wayne for reminding men everywhere what a woman’s true purpose in this life is.