Thin walls leave little mystery to neighbors activities

Chicago, IL- When Chad Walton moved into his little studio apartment in the busy Chicago neighborhood of Lakeview, he knew he was not going to be completely cut off from the rest of the world. His studio was small and his rent was cheap.

The first night, as he listened to the nightly news on his neighbor’s television through the wall, he knew he could expect some issues. But he’s a busy guy and a heavy sleeper, so he didn’t worry too much about the issue. It wasn’t until a couple weeks later when he heard two people, a high and low pitched voice, that he started to realize just how thin the walls between the apartments were.

“At first I heard just a man and a woman having a good time,” Walton says. “Then I heard them having a really good time. And I heard most everything. And I got uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.”

In a small apartment, he admits there aren’t many places to hide. Unable to get away from the noise, he simply turned up his stereo and pretended nothing unusual was happening.

While many people accustomed to close-quarters city living would argue that there’s nothing strange about Walton’s circumstances, Walton says there is one strange element he can’t seem to get over.

“After I hear the man and woman together for a while, and turn my stereo up, I almost always hear the woman leave the apartment shortly thereafter. She never stays very long,” Walton explains.

What’s strangest is there have been occasions where Walton walks to the elevator on his floor and there will be a woman in a long trench coat, wearing sunglasses and putting a wad of cash in her pocket. It’s happened on more than one occasion. Despite feeling like an intimate friend of this woman, he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t make eye contact. “I’m afraid she’ll know I can hear her,” he says. “And that would just be so embarrassing for everyone!”

His neighbor once confronted him, point blank and said “I hope you can’t hear me at night.” To which Walton started sweating profusely and getting uncomfortable. “I mean because I snore so loud,” his neighbor added. Somewhat relieved but not yet off the hook, Walton simply responded, “Nope. I can’t hear anything ever.” And his neighbor smiled and discussed the nasal issue that made him snore so loud.

Walton says he maintains a friendly relationship with his neighbor, and has never let on that he can hear anything. And he has yet to make eye contact with the lady visitor.

While wearing a skintight nude bikini, licking her lips and thrusting her hips seductively, Lady Gaga encourages fans to be celibate

Fame monger and occasional musician, Lady Gaga is once again seeking the spotlight. This time, however, her message is genuinely surprising- a tough task for a woman who seems to pride herself on keeping her fans surprised. She is preaching abstinence.

What makes this move so surprising to so many of her fans and supporters is that the words she is saying seem opposite to the entire method behind her becoming such a superstar.

In every music video she has made, there are explicit physical references to sexual activity. Whether it be lying on a bed seductively, thrusting her hips repeatedly on couches, or-as in the most recent music video- an explicit shot where heavy petting in sensitive areas takes place while making out, Lady Gaga seems to relish in the attention her sexuality has gotten her. However, she has begun talking about and preaching celibacy to her fans and supporters.

Cherie, a 16-year-old supporter from Long Island, says, “It’s like a baker telling you that you shouldn’t bake in order to be like him. It just doesn’t make sense.” She adds, “I’m really confused.”

While the idea behind celibacy and abstinence are gaining in popularity for celebrities across the board, Lady Gaga does not seem to be one of the role models who’s work supports her supposed lifestyle.

Yet, fans are listening intently to everything she both says and does. Hoards of Gaga supporters have begun wearing stripper clothing and taking pole dancing classes, hoping to meet and seduce men they want to be platonic friends with.

Another culture revolution, courtesy of Lady Gaga.

Lil’ Wayne first and only straight male to ever want to do ‘every girl in the world’

In his popular hit “Every Girl” Lil’ Wayne makes some groundbreaking claims. His lyrics flow from complimenting his own talents to complimenting women’s bodies and discussing what he’d like to do to them.

During this song, he claims that he would like to be intimate with every girl in the world. This claim is very refreshing to many women in the world who have become so accustomed to straight men wanting nothing more than their friendship and company.

“It’s nice to finally have someone want to have a physical relationship with me,” says Tamara, a 23-year-old single straight woman in Milwaukee. She added, “So many guys come up to me at bars and just want to chat and be friends. I want someone who sees me as nothing more then a body and a possible late-night conquest. Is that so much to ask?”

Tamara’s sentiments ring true for many straight women across the nation who can’t wait for men to finally see them as the sex object they truly are. She and many others are grateful to Lil’ Wayne for reminding men everywhere what a woman’s true purpose in this life is.