Tax Day

taxesToday is tax day. This is no fun at all. For really anyone. I wouldn’t even say it’s fun for the IRS because it’s gotta be just as stressful for the getting all this information in (even if it’s with money) because, as they say, mo’ money mo’ problems. Luckily for me, for the past few years, the IRS has been taking big chunks of my money, thereby theoretically giving me less problems.
So… I guess I owe them a big fat THANK you. Emphasis on the angry first syllable of THANK.
 Since Taxes are no fun at all, I thought I’d take a moment to devise a list of 50  things that are much more fun than taxes to remind you of how much delight there is to be had in this world. I hope it helps you get through this tough day:
Ice cream sandwiches
Raccoons (at least Rocket Raccoon)
Not getting a sunburn after spending all day in the sun
Sparkly things
Well-trimmed beards
Blueberry flavored coffee (don’t knock it til you’ve tried it)
Hitting every green light on your way home
Text from someone you have a crush on
Falling in love
Funny shaped poop
Dogs. All dogs. Everywhere. Always.
Cats that act like dogs but then are kinda sweet and cuddle with you when you’re feelin chill.
Hearing a kid laugh at nonsense
People taking silly selfies
A really good conversation you didn’t expect (And when do you ever expect them?)
Meeting someone from a dating website only to find out they’re much cuter in person
Having all the right words ready to call someone out right when you want them
When someone at their mundane job is friendlier to you than they need to be
Puppies. Separate from dogs. Also deserve recognition for awesomeness.
Head scratches.
Uncontrollable laughter.
Autocorrect changing your text to something much funnier than you had
Australian accents
Discovering you like something new
Seeing a dog be carried while on a “walk”
Chai Tea Lattes with Almond Milk
A perfectly flipped omelet
Sweet and salty snacks while Netflix binging
Finding the perfect emoji sentence for your conversation
Splurging today
Saving for something awesome tomorrow
Accidentally getting drunk on good wine
Eavesdropping on a surprisingly interesting conversation
Catching up with an old friend
The free feeling you get after cutting off someone crummy
Watching old men fall asleep while waiting for their wives at the mall
Writing expressively with a really nice fountain pen
Getting a surprising number of “likes” on your social media update
Having such a great time in actual life, you forget to update your social media
Stained glass windows
State Fairs
The first day you start to feel better after you’ve been sick
A new outfit you found at a discount that somehow makes you feel like a million bucks
Really bad karaoke from someone who thinks they’re really good
Calling in sick to play hooky with someone you love
Ridiculously fun etsy finds
Driving with the windows down on a beautiful day
Double rainbows

Episode 58: Money! – Show Notes

This particular Femoir: The Podcast is one that took me a little while to get together. Mostly because it took me a little while to get myself together after the hit that taxes took this year. money

So click here to listen to the latest episode (and click here to subscribe on iTunes for free!)

Learn about the history of money.

I talk about the fabulous podcast, Snap Judgment.

I also discuss Marianne Williamson.

I mention my father.

And of course the IRS, that pesky tax man.

How do you feel about money, friends? I’d love to hear from you.

Happy spending/saving/sobbing,


Rainy Day Fund

Imm be honest wichu, readers. I ain’t got tons a’ cash rite nah. I also ain’t knowin why I writin like dis. Feelz right. Feelz tite.PiggyBank_page-bg_16009


Sorry. I lost myself for a second there.

I was trying to tell you that my pockets aren’t “Rollin’ in the Deep” Adele style. I have to watch what comes in and what goes out carefully at this point in my life. I’m not super proud of it, but I’m proud of all the creative stuff I accomplish and recognize it as an investment in the future. Sure, I’ve been investing for a very long time. Sure, I don’t exactly know if every investment I make has a 1:1 ratio on return. And sure, I just pretended to understand returns on investments in the form of make-believe ratios and have no idea if it even makes sense.

It’s one of the only places in my life that I can still feel stressed to the point of frustration and helplessness. It’s the only place left in my life that will actually make me respond passionately, immediately and very emotionally before I’ve actually taken a moment to think. Just ask the terrible “doctor” I went to see for a basic office visit who sent me a ridiculous bill for services. If he doesn’t remember me, tell I’m I’m the chick who left a message. He’ll know. I’m not proud of that message…but it happened.

In the past couple weeks I’ve had to do what we all have to do and look over my finances and try and figure out my financial situation for next year to get a better grip on it. And as often happens, it can be overwhelming and frustrating. Especially when random bills come out of nowhere and you google it and it turns out you have to pay it because you didn’t know you could opt out and the date to fill out the opt out form is already passed. (Luckily for all of us, this particular bill had an office that was already closed and didn’t have the option to leave a voicemail. Otherwise, I’d be notorious in two different offices for my *ahem* passionate voicemails).

So in thinking about what I can do to remedy this situation that often leaves me feeling helpless, I’ve decided to do the only thing within my power and just change my attitude. Rather than being overwhelmed at the amount of money I seem to owe or frustrated by my ignorance of tax systems and bills and deductions and everything… I’m just going to breathe and take it one step at a time. I’m going to go to the tax office and pay what I owe the city of LA. I’m going to call my heath insurance and let them know they need to cover the quack doctor office visit because it’s part of my plan. And I’m going to use part of my rainy day fund to help me pay rent and groceries next month thanks to all these extra expenses. That’s why you keep a rainy day fund. In case of a rainy day.

I’m going to approach them one at a time and look at every situation from the perspective of what’s actually in my control. I don’t like owing money- hence why taxes and surprising bills stress me out. But it’s a fact of life. And it’s a fact of my own situation that I’ve chosen a creative and less lucrative path (at list at this point) so I’m going to have to rely on credit cards, coupons, and kindness for a little bit longer.

And that’s ok. It’s just money. It comes and goes.

I’m not gonna let it stop me from doing what I love or being who I am.

And- for the record- I’ll be paying all my taxes and bills with Care Bears checks. So I still win a small victory.

So bak up, tax man. Imma smack yo ass silly.