Push to the End

I’m excellent at starting projects. I’m excellent at creating lofty goals for myself and ambitious schedules that will help me reach them.

But, boy oh boy, sometimes I have serious issues following through to the very end. I’m not talking about the almost end. I mean the very end. The last mile. The last class. The last week. The last few seconds of an exercise. The last anything.

There are times when this is reasonable, like when I set an already somewhat ridiculous goal for myself and am ok with ending it before I thought I would. But I realized not long ago that I was in a pattern of not finishing the very last stretch of what I started.

I didn’t go to the last class of my first acting class. The teacher was verbally abusive and not my style, so I had an excuse. I didn’t go to the last acting class of my wonderful acting class after that one. I was out of town and always knew I’d miss it. I didn’t go to the make up option I had because I was overwhelmed with work. And I almost didn’t go to the last class of another acting class I took, my reasoning being simply “it would go late and I was a little busy.”

When I started having those thoughts, I checked myself. That wasn’t healthy. That wasn’t helpful. And that wouldn’t get me where I wanted to go.

It’s fine to have a personality (like mine) that’s great with getting things started and excellent at blueprinting the method to achieve goals. But consistently not finishing – that last little push – what you start slowly erodes trust. It’s not bad, necessarily (since bad is a judgment and a great excuse to berate yourself, which I am not all about). It just means that I have to watch it. I have to learn from that. I can still harness and embrace the things that I’m good at. But I need to just be aware of the patterns I’ve set up for myself.

Even in my intense yoga class (yes, this yoga again), there are plenty of times when I want to stop. I have every excuse running through my head as to why I can just go into child’s pose instead of finishing that set of mountain climbers. But I have to train myself to follow through and trust myself that I can do it. 

Inevitably, when I force myself to follow through on what the whiny voice inside of me wants to skip out on, I find that there’s immense value in it. At the very least, I’ve shown that I will finish what I start. If I still don’t like what I’m doing or have other issues with it, I can decide in the future that it may not best serve me to commit to doing something like that again.

But if I say I’m going to do it, I have to do it wholeheartedly. And that means following through finishing every little push.

 

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Femoir the Podcast – Season 3, Episode 106: Trust Fall

I think one of the hardest parts about making changes is making space for them. I know that I am (very) guilty of not ever wanting to give anything up.

…Then I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted and go back to the same patterns I did before and, pretty soon, wonder why nothing every changes.

Hello again, friends.

I think one of the hardest parts about making changes is making space for them. I know that I am (very) guilty of not ever wanting to give anything up. Thanks to a lot of work, I’ve learned to be less of a hoarder of physical things. But when it comes to emotional patterns or routines that I’ve become comfortable in, I very much like to keep as much of everything as possible and just add on rather than taking way. I’m always convincing myself that I can make changes by just willing them into place and forcing myself to take on too much.

Then I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted and go back to the same patterns I did before and, pretty soon, wonder why nothing every changes.

We have to learn to let go. We have to learn to trust our gut when it’s asking us to let something go. We have to learn that, like in any trust fall, there’s a moment between being balanced and being caught that feels terrifying. But we have to trust that there’s something catching us after that free fall moment.

That’s what this episode is all about.

I discuss trust falls, leadership building, and how I gave up two things that were both very precious to me in order to make space for new adventures.

I also talk about relationship break ups, choosing happiness, and trusting yourself.

Plus, little Clydie makes audible cameos while chewing stuff and it’s pretty adorable, if I do say so myself.

Subscribing and rating helps the show grow. Listening keeps it going.

Thank you friends!

Episode 66: Mentors – Show Notes

yodaIn this Femoir: The Podcast episode, we talk about those people who are the Wind Beneath Our Wings. Our mentors.
I’m lucky to have great ones. They’re not Yoda, but they probably smell better than Yoda. Nobody ever talks about how Yoda smells… but it was probably terrible.

Not much to give show notes on this time.

Find yourself a mentor. Be a better person.