Tag: weights

Coach Potato

Briana Hansen2 Comments

fitness21No. I didn’t misspell couch. I meant coach.

I’ve been considering getting a fitness coach for a little while. Not a personal trainer (momma can’t afford that right now…) but a fitness coach. There’s this lady online named Rachel Nicole. She’s picture here. She’s in badass shape. And her prices are reasonable.

I even emailed her. I wanna buy the 3 month package. She gives you the whole nutrition and the fitness plan and check in with you weekly about your goals. And you get access to her via text if you need it or have specific questions.

I think that sounds perfect for me.

I’ve just been holding off. I was going to buy it several months ago, but instead I spent money on (more) improv classes. I have no regrets about that choice (even though they’re not yet paid off…), but I’d like to refocus sometime soon on getting in badass shape like this chick. If I had spent my money on this, I would have spent like 1/3 of what I spent on my improv classes. If that gives you any perspective about how expensive friggin classes are out here in LA.

I haven’t committed to it yet. I’m letting myself recover financially from some other choices and trying to get some money coming in from some of the (many) investments I’ve made over the past year.

But hopefully soon I can get up off my butt and support this lady who will in turn support me on my own fitness journey.

Until then, I’m considering myself a lazy coach potato.

I used (a lot) of parenthesis in this (blog) post. I (don’t) know why. I (do) know it’s confusing. I’m (very) sorry (?).

Switch Up

Briana HansenLeave a comment

I got some advice from a hunky personal trainer the other day. He said that people in good shape (and I include myself in that because of my frequent gym sessions) should probably change up their routine every two weeks or so to keep their body growing and guessing. He asked me how long I’ve been doing my routines at the gym. I told him, “A while.”

The truth is, I’ve been doing them since friggin’ June or July.

To be fair, the exercising I’m doing are the classics. And there are some schools that think the classics really are all you need to improve your shape. And I’ve been going up in weight and adding moves here and there. And because of my schedule, I’m not always doing the everything every time I go.

But I’ve been basically doing the same thing. And I like it. But it’s definitely time to get creative and change things up.

So this week, I did just that. I found a workout routine on my “Workout Trainer” app called “Dedicated to Muscle.” It incorporates a lot of different great movements and weights in a different order.

And it was really challenging! And I was terrible at some of the movements! It turns out I can barely do a weighted single leg squat. I mean, like… barely. And there was this move called “Pistols”… let me tell you… I couldn’t do them like at all! I was terrible at them! I mean, terrible! The couple times I tried to do a full movement, I fell on my rump. The other times, when I tried to do less of a movement, my balance was completely off and I could barely do it. Plus, my gym boyfriend was working out right next to me, so it was even more embarrassing! (But maybe made him notice me which is actually a good thing…)

It was actually really exciting to be terrible at something again. You really do get so used to certain movements. Even if you add weight to those movements, your body is already good at them. Just by trying these other movements I have a very hard time with, I can feel muscles that haven’t been working getting a good workout. I can feel my body trying to learn this new stuff and growing. I know that it takes a bit by bit to get good at something, so I’m looking forward to a couple weeks from now when I can do a full “Pistol” and a full movement on weighted single leg squat.

And once I can do those, it’ll be time to change it up again.

Gotta keep the body guessing. Just like I keep men in my life guessing as to how I feel about them and which of my many multiple personalities might show up.

I wish I were joking about that last part.

Alas and alack.

Fitspiration

Briana Hansen2 Comments

Mixed feelings on this one.

My friend showed me an awesome blogpost about a guy who takes down some of the most ridiculous fitspiration quotes. I couldn’t find it when I did my standard three seconds of research for this post, but I did find another pretty good one.

Here’s the thing… the critics of fitspiration are right. They can be unrealistic, dumb, and sometimes even dangerous.

But here’s the other thing… I don’t take them all that seriously. There are times when my body wants to stop because it’s used to just being lazy. There are times when I think I’ve hit the limit on something only to push through the plateau and reach a new strength or fitness peak. There are times when I do have to use my mind to talk my body into trying something difficult that it turns out is possible. So, to that end, these posters are absolutely right.

If you go into every workout with a mindset of pushing yourself further than yesterday and doing something you think impossible, you’re going to sail past your fitness goals in no time. Having a little healthy fitspiration picture with a great quote can help you visualize that goal and feel it even stronger. And there is nothing wrong with that.

If, however, you think you’re going to look like the girl in the picture if you go into the weightroom and push really hard without doing any research or listening to your body’s cues at all, you’re going to both hurt yourself and hate yourself for not looking like the picture after a week of working out.

Have realistic expectations for yourself. And if the fitspiration helps your lazy butt get to the gym, put that shit up all over. If it makes you feel bad about yourself because you don’t look like the perfectly photoshopped model who hasn’t had carbs since the 90s, get rid of that shit. But find something else that does inspire you to go.

Like anything else, see it for what it’s worth. If it adds value to your life, keep it. If it makes you feel bad, lose it.

I’m a bit of a sucker for cheesy inspiration, so I tend to love fitspiration pictures. Then again, I also love my chocolate so I accepted long ago I won’t look like the models. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try to get in my best shape by pushing my boundaries on the daily.

Speaking of, I gotta stop typing now and get to the gym. The weights are waiting wondering why the woman isn’t  working out…whoops.

Feisty

Briana Hansen5 Comments

My very brave friend Shannon had me train her this morning at the gym.

I say she’s brave not because I’m an intense trainer (though that is true… I don’t like lazy and won’t let you do it). She’s mostly brave because it was 6:30 am and I had not had breakfast. And it was not my gym so I didn’t know where anything was. So I was a bit…ahem…cranky.

She was a good sport about it. She knows me well enough to read between my cranky words to get behind what I’m saying.

At one point, we had a little interaction with another woman in the free weights section. She wanted a weight I was using. The thing is… I was using it. She tried to argue this point with me. But the problem was…see…I was using it. And basic weight room etiquette is first come, first serve. You just wait until the person using your weights is done with all their sets before you use it. Especially if they’re mid-set. Using the weight in question. Like I was. Did I make that point clear?

She got a little snarky with me, so I gave her attitude back. Because, see, I was using the weight at the time so, no, I didn’t want to give it to her.

Luckily for her, I saw the actual weight I wanted to use had been returned to the rack (5 lbs heavier than what I was using, by the way…), so I said she could have mine and went to get the heavier. She said she only needed one. I told her I didn’t care how many she needed, I wasn’t using them anymore so just take whatever…I don’t care.

Shannon, seeing this interaction, let me know I’m getting a little “feisty” with her.  I’m aware that I’m not the most chipper person 1) At the gym 2) Without breakfast and 3) In the morning (let alone the lethal combination of the three). But there is a standard weight room etiquette. Some things are more forgivable than others. Asking someone to use your weight while you’re using it is just about the biggest faux pas you can make.

About five minutes later, I’m looking over at the girl who wanted the weight and she was doing her “exercises” with the worst form I’ve ever seen. Now, again, I recognize I’m a snob for form. I was lucky enough to be coached on a lot of exercises through sports and weight training in high school and been practicing on and off for years. I’ve studied enough to know that I’d rather do three reps with perfect form than 30 with shitty form because I know those three reps do more than anything else. Anyone who’s done one pilates session knows that focusing on form is the single most effective choice you can make in a workout.  Everything else will fall into place if you’re actually doing the exercise right.

Apparently, I made my disgust well known. Shannon claims I mumbled “She has the worst f***ing form I’ve ever seen. I don’t even know why the f*** she’s wasting her time right now or why the f*** she even need that weight, she’s doing herself absolutely no good and just taking up f***ing space in the weightroom where someone who knows what the f*** they’re doing could be…” or something like that. Maybe even more colorful.  For the record- I don’t remember saying it. But also for the record, it’s definitely what I was thinking so it wouldn’t surprise me that in my delirious and angry morning state I had no filter on.

Shannon reminded me again to “Calm down there feisty. Not everyone has as much training as you.” And she was right. But people can have common sense. If you look like a total idiot, you’re probably not doing yourself any good (see my previous post that tells you how I feel about the elliptical machine where you really look like an idiot). You’re likely doing more harm than good.

So do everyone a favor and before you get into the weight room with the big dogs and do your research. Look up some weight room etiquette. Bring a friend with you (like Shannon did) who knows their way around a weight room until you feel comfortable enough to be in there by yourself. And for the love of god, look up how the eff to do the exercises you’re attempting.

Otherwise, you’re going to hurt yourself. Or I’m going to hurt your feelings by cursing at you. Either way, you lose.

And- for the love of John, Paul, George, and Ringo- do not ask someone for their weight while they’re effing using it.

That is all. For now.